flesh & gravity

a new baby, a new school year, a pink trailer

2011-09-10T22:13:00.000-05:00

I have gained a new blog reader. My son. Over the course of our road trip, he realized I was keeping a blog, discovered that in my blog I occasionally wrote about him. A new refrain in my life: "Mom, when are you going to do your blog?!?!"

Strange to think of him as part of my audience. I thought when I finally dealt with the weirdness of my parents seeing my artwork and reading my writing that I'd arrived at the point of not censoring myself.

skin to skin by gardenymph

It has been nearly six weeks since we returned from our trip to Texas. Jennifer had her baby boy Elliott Paul nearly ~~two~~ three (!) weeks ago.

holden & simon, by the pool by xenia elizabeth

Holden and Simon have both started school. Holden and Simon have Skyped with each other, giving each other the classic boy close-up views of eyeballs, nostrils, and open mouths.

Simon has caught the first cold of the school year.

I still have mounds of photos from our trip to post publicly to Flickr.

School starting season always feels insurmountable to me. The inevitable conflicts with frustrated students and colleagues--not to mention the workload of classes, supervising student workers, and serving on numerous committees--can make me want to escape to bed with a book and stay there.

Escaping to bed with The Shock Doctrine (as I have been doing lately) is probably not the best way to avoid or lessen the beginning-of-the-school-year depression, but I can't help it. I first heard about the book last spring when I began watching clips of The Rachel Maddow Show online during the whole Scott Walker debacle.

It is a forceful book. Its main thesis is that totally free-market ideology can only be made into reality through force. She chronicles the stories of South America in the 70s, Russia in the 90s, Iraq after 9/11, Sri Lanka and the other nations in southeastern Asia after the 2005 tsunami, and New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. The book makes me feel like crying, like sinking. I can know that we are living in a global corporatist society, but reading the details brings the truth closer. One wonders if there is any power greater than greed.

susan mikula & rachel maddow

So I have become a fan of Naomi Klein, and an even bigger fan of Rachel Maddow. I haven't watched television for years, but we actually subscribed to cable and bought a TV. Partly to have a good screen to watch Netflix movies on, but also because I am loving the fact that there is a smart, funny, female anchor on cable. There is hope.

Part of my fascination with Maddow is how much she reminds me of my grad school mentor. And the fact that Maddow's partner is a artist/photographer. Plus I like exposing my son to smart, funny women and good liberal rhetoric.

We watched last week's Republican debate and Obama's jobs speech. What a difference in tone between those two events.

In addition to struggling with the back-to-school difficulties and the politics of the day, I'm also in the middle of my path toward getting off Effexor. I have been taking Effexor for close to 11 years. I have been on several other anti-depressants and Lamictal, too, and have successfully come off Paxil and Lamictal in the past few years.

Over the past nine months, I have lowered my Effexor dose from 300 mg per day to about 135 mg per day, though I am currently contemplating going back up to 150 mg. I have made this reduction by removing 20 granules (by opening up the capsule and counting individual pieces) of the Effexor every week. The only side effects I experienced were occasional nightmares and night sweating that are familiar to me from when I have missed a dose of Efffexor in the past.

Here's a good article by Bruce Stutz of the New York Times: Self Nonmedication.

I thought, up until the past few weeks, "This is pretty easy. As long as I take it slowly, I can do this."

It's not feeling so easy right now.

Along with the Effexor reduction, I've been reading about and (mostly) following a low-carb/paleo-style diet. I know there are many ways food creates and manipulates the body and mind. I could write much about this; but, for now, I'll leave it with a link to a smart, interesting blog called Evolutionary Psychiatry. The woman who writes the blog is Emily Deans, MD. An excerpt:

Basic Premise and Various Disclaimers
My overarching theory is that our bodies and brains do best in conditions for which they are evolved. I dig up scientific information and present it in that context. I may not be right, and that's okay too. However, I feel that by studying evolutionary medicine, we come closer to the answers for optimal conditions for health and vitality. The basics of evolutionary medicine are simple: don't eat very much fructose, omega-6 rich industrial vegetable oils, grains (such as wheat, rye, barley, spelt, quinoa, oats, corn, etc.), or processed "fake" food in general. Eat as much local, farmstand, grassfed, pastured, wild-caught as you care for. That's vegetables, meat, fish, nuts, eggs, fruits, and high-fat dairy, red wine, and dark dark chocolate in moderation. Also, get plenty of sleep and play. While a very healthy diet can be mostly plant-based, I do contend that it is exceedingly difficult to get by on a strict vegan diet due to lack of B12, zinc, phospholipids, K2, poor omega 6 to 3 ratio, and other issues.

We keep working on all this.

Today, we spent a few hours driving back roads to Colfax and finding garage sales. Simon found a Morgan dollar in beautiful condition for a good price. I found a $2.00 large antique photograph of a young girl, a box of Kodak black and white 35mm film (expired 1966), two rolls of developed 120 negatives that were rolled up and stuck together in an old film box, and a lime green winter coat.

Also shot this photo, which totally belies my mood for the afternoon, which is probably the best reason for posting it.

pink trailer by xenia elizabeth

day fifteen: shenandoah to menomonie

2011-08-05T23:20:00.000-05:00

seeing howard johnson

As we were heading out of Shenandoah Wednesday morning, we got to the intersection at the post office and I tried to tell Charles to stop, let me out, I've got to get out. I couldn't get my words out very well. What I was trying to say was, "That's Howard Johnson!"

Howard was one of my best friends when I worked at the Chamber of Commerce in Shenandoah when Simon was little. Howard was good friends with my boss Dan (they had grown up together). Howard owned a men's clothing store in Shen until 1997. He knows the town--its history, its funny stories, its secrets--like probably no other person there.

He would come into the Chamber just to hang out. And tell stories. I love his stories.

It's my fault for not keeping in better contact with him since I moved to Wisconsin. This time, as we were leaving, he said, "Don't wait nine more years. I'm 78!"

You can tell by my smile in the photo Charles took (above) how much I love that man.

He told us about seeing the Sidney Rodeo the day/night before and how it's his last time doing it. "I'm done," he said. The rodeo is a tradition that goes back years and years, and each year gets smaller with fewer people attending. He said they were there about 12 hours, but the parade "lasted 20 minutes," and two of the four queen candidates had trouble getting on their horses. That the best show there was a group of young guys from Wisconsin doing motorcycle stunts.

He got to tell the story to Simon (that I had just told him days ago) about his kids stealing everything they could from Howard Johnson hotels.

deer, county road J20 (southwest Iowa)

We found three dead fawns right in a row on county road J20 near Bushville, Iowa (about nine miles south of Corning). I am heartbroken with every deer I find, but mangled fawns are even more difficult to face.

We turned north on highwy 49, driving through Lenox and Prescott, in order to meet my nephew Craig in Greenville. He recently returned from a year in Afghanistan and was heading down to spend time with my dad. I'm glad we were able to connect on the road. We spent at least an hour in the park (in the shade) visiting and looking at many of his photos from where he was stationed.

After seeing Craig, Charles and Simon tried out Hardee's, yet another burger joint. Simon rated it below Culver's, P. Terry's, and In-N-Out, but above Wendy's, Burger King, and McDonald's.

We stopped to see my sister Joy and her daughter Anada (and their big, sweet dog Louise) in Norwalk. It was a short visit, but still good (she had made Simon chicken and dumplings, so he ate some of those, too).

Norwalk/Des Moines are still less than halfway home, so we convinced ourselves to get back in the car and ride.

Simon had been looking forward to the halfway point stop between Dad's and home, which is an antique store in Story City. He remembered looking at the coins last time we stopped. He purchased a 1963 peso and several wheat pennies.

It's a routine drive the rest of the way. We know it well. We did decide to take the Rochester direction so we could eat at El Carambas--one of the best Mexican restaurants we know. Shrimp Tostadas for me.

The final photo of the trip was the iPhone one of the Welcome to Wisconsin sign, as we came over the bridge from Wabasha, Minnesota:

welcome to wisconsin (just over the wabasha-nelson bridge)

Like always, it's difficult to write just how good it was to get home and see our kitties coming to the door to greet us. It was about 10:30 pm, so Charles and I got out the flashlight to scope out how much the flowers and vegetables had grown.

Difficult to put into words, too, how good it was to see friends not seen for 10 or more years, to meet Simon's brother, to watch them in action. Meeting Holden, Simon said, was "worth two thousand dollars!"

day fourteen: shenandoah

2011-08-05T22:40:00.000-05:00

hibiscus in bloom (shenandoah, iowa)

Tuesday morning Charles and I took a walk around Shenandoah, despite climbing heat index numbers. We stayed in the shade when we could and it felt good to the leg muscles to walk, not just sit. We fed a little black lab some ice cubes and gave him some affection, too. Babies and puppies, says Charles, the things Mom (I) love/s.

Another stay put day. Anxious to get home, but glad not to drive/ride all day, and happy to see my sister Allyson and her two children, Maria and Sawyer. Also got a surprise visit from my good friend Beth. I'm glad she knocked on my dad's door and interrupted Charles' and my nap. We had good conversation and she came later to Allyson's for supper and play time with the kids. She lived with my family for four years during high school, so talking with her and Ally upstairs after supper was lovingly familiar.

dinner at ally's

I absolutely loved it when Sawyer asked me (when he was done with supper, and I was working on my coffee), "come to the toy room." We had to have him come look at how much coffee was left in my cup and tell him when it was empty I would come play. He stayed until he could see the bottom of the cup. Then he and I played ball. He turned three in June. This visit was the most he's opened up to me. Babies (three-year-old nephews included) and puppies. And dead deer, roadside memorials, and cemeteries.

While Allyson, Beth, and I talked upstairs, Simon played Zombie with the two little ones. We kept them up way past their bedtime.

grampy playing memory with sawyer & maria

24 hours to go on Road Trip 2011.

day thirteen: parsons to shenandoah

2011-08-05T22:21:00.000-05:00

roadside memorial, highway 400 (southeast of mccune, kansas)

Tonight is our third night home and I have to complete blogging about the last three days of our trip before its details sink into the big picture of one hot, long ride.

Charles started the day with a three-mile walk in Parsons before Simon and I even got up. He came back in drenched clothes.

I had another Subway breakfast while the three of us watched some nice graffiti go by on the Union Pacific train. Then we headed east on highway 400, where we found the above memorial southeast of McCune. About five miles east of Cherokee, we turned north on 169, drove through Pittsburgh, and then stopped at Fort Scott at the Fort Scott National Cemetery.

fort scott national cemetery (fort scott, kansas)

69 took us all the way to the southern suburbs of Kansas City, and one of them (Simon had already figured out) had a Culver's (Simon's favorite restaurant of all time). Simon and Charles ate lunch there; by that time I was up to my ears in french fries and diet Coke and was saving room for the homemade spring rolls my Aunt Elizabeth promised me would be served at her house in Liberty, Missouri.

I haven't seen Elizabeth since my mother's funeral in April, 2008. It was shortly after that when she (Elizabeth) was diagnosed with breast cancer as well. When we walked into her house, she was sitting on the couch in her sun room with her great granddaughter lying next to her.

aunt elizabeth's (liberty, missouri)

It was good to see her, my uncle JC, their son Tommy and daughter-in-law Sharon, granddaughter Elizabeth, and her seven-month old baby. We enjoyed the spring rolls with peanut sauce and catching up. Simon was a six-year-old when she last saw him.

Elizabeth showed us some of the photos she had of the Boykin family (her and my mom's side). Charles shot a few of the older ones with his digital camera so we could have copies.

boykin family, c. 1960

My Dad's house is about 2 and a half hours from Liberty. And it feels so much like home to me that it was the next closest thing. If we can't make it to Menomonie, at least we can make it to southwest Iowa.

The Missouri River flooding has caused the major interstate and state highway to close, so there was lighter traffic than usual on I-29 up from Kansas City, and heavier traffic on 59, which has become the detour for north-south travelers.

Found one deer close to the Missouri/Iowa line and as I was photographing it, a guy came up on an ATV asking if I had hit it. This is the second time I've been asked this, as if the only reason I might photograph a dead deer is if I'd been the one to kill it. The first time was by a policeman. I don't even know who this person was. He stayed there the whole time I was trying to shoot, which is annoying to say the least. How do you explain to someone you do this all the time?

deer, highway 59 (south of fairfax, missouri)

Just over four miles into Iowa we found a memorial. It was glowing in the low sun.

roadside memorial, highway 59 (south of shenandoah, iowa)

So wonderful to make it to my Dad's and give him hugs. We ate our first sweet corn of the season for supper.

day twelve: richardson to parsons

2011-07-31T22:31:00.000-05:00

middle boggy battle cemetery (atoka, oklahoma)

Many miles to cover today (about 360) and I think we all have the "let's get home" feeling. There were miles of big box stores and suburbs coming out of the Dallas area. We were not sad to leave there.

It was hard to believe how dry it was in Oklahoma. Walking through the cemetery, we crunched through the burnt, brown grass. There was no green to be had.

I started taking photos of the car's thermometer when it reached 104 degrees. 111 was the highest. So hot and dry. We passed one small fire in the median. Charles said one of the scary things about the drive today was the sign that said, "Do Not Drive Into Smoke."

As we drove into Kansas, the landscape started looking a little greener and the grass was not quite as crispy underfoot. It also felt like we were making the transition from the South to the Midwest, slowly. The land, trees, and architecture feeling more familiar.

oklahoma/kansas border

all saints cemetery (liberty, kansas)

As we neared tonight's destination, we watched clouds darken and approach for about an hour, but the rain never developed, at least like we thought it might here where we're staying in Parsons. The dark sky and golden ground made a dramatic and lovely picture, lightning included.

stormy sky, southeast kansas

We had supper at Braum's (a burger and ice cream joint)--not too much choice in this town, especially when the Mexican restaurant with rave reviews is closed on Sunday.

After eating, we found Oakwood Cemetery, in which 375 Civil War veterans are buried in Antietam Circle. I shot several images with my Lomo LC-A+ on a tripod.

oakwood cemetery (parsons, kansas)

We're looking forward tomorrow to visiting my Aunt Elizabeth in Liberty, Missouri and arriving at my dad's house in southwest Iowa. It will be about 320 miles of driving, and then 450 to Menomonie after that. We're getting closer to home; just a few more days.

day eleven: austin to richardson

2011-07-31T00:44:00.001-05:00

holden & simon, quack's

This morning, Holden and Simon got to wrestle some more on the hotel bed before we headed out to pick up Loring and walk to Quack's for coffee and breakfast (vegan double chocolate muffins! and iced coffee).

And one more stop at Loring and Holden's house for more photos and videos and good-byes. Again, hard to leave, but good to have been here.

dallas, texas

The drive today was uneventful, unless you call Dallas traffic interesting.

We stopped at the Sixth Floor Museum when we drove into the city, but they wanted $39 for the three of us to go in. We decided to visit the contemporary art museum instead, which was showing "Rest in Power," by the graffiti crew Sour Grapes. There was also the photo exhibition, "Man with Banana" by Juergen Teller. One of my favorite images in the show was of Bjork and her son.

bjork and son by juergen teller

One of Simon's interests this past year has been food. He has read Fast Food Nation, watched the movie, and watched Supersize Me a gazillion times. So one of the places he wanted to eat on the trip was In-N-Out Burger. We got our chance tonight. In-N-Out opened in Dallas only about a month ago. There were two policeman directing traffic into the drive-thru lanes and we stood in line outside the restaurant to get in to order. Beyond crowded. Simon gets anxious in situations with so many people, but we convinced him that it was worth it for the experience, especially since he had wanted to go there.

simon, in-n-out burger (dallas, texas)

I can't say eating in that kind of clamor was super pleasant or relaxing, but the food was good, and they treat their employees well, and it's nice to see a place like that receiving business.

Back at the hotel, Simon took a quick dip in the pool and the two of us relaxed in the whirlpool for a few minutes.

Never ending news on the debt ceiling repeats on the television.

Simon has already sent Holden an email with pictures of our kitties.

day ten: austin

2011-07-31T00:16:00.002-05:00

holden & simon, with peace dollars

Our one day of staying. No driving today except around Austin.

First thing Friday was finding Holland Photo Imaging, where I dropped off many, many rolls of 120 and 35mm film. They do E-6 processing and there were a number of rolls I didn't want to have to cross-process, which is the only thing Sharp Photo in Eau Claire can do. The two guys working were way on my side when I told Charles not to listen to how much it was going to cost to develop the film from the trip so far. "It looks better," one of them said. They are going to ship out the negatives and scans on Monday; hopefully I'll have images to work on soon after arriving back home.

Simon, of course, told Holden about Culver's, his favorite restaurant that's based in Wisconsin. Holden responded with the suggestion to go to P. Terry's, Austin's response to Fast Food Nation. They even make their own veggie burgers.

After lunch, we drove to Capitol Coin & Bullion, where Charles, Loring, and I spent about an hour watching the boys ooh and aahh over wheat pennies and peace dollars. They both found some coins for their collections; Simon even got his first peace dollar.

It was Charles to the rescue after that, who agreed to watch the boys at the hotel pool, while I had a nap and Loring at least got to rest, if not totally get to sleep. After waking up, I swam with the boys for a while, getting some Holga shots and listening and watching them try to escape from the monster yellow jacket buzzing around the pool.

We went back to get Loring and had an amazing supper at one of her and Holden's favorite places, Mother's. A vegetarian, mostly Mexican restaurant. My first real salad of the trip. Green food! With cashew tamari dressing. I am going to have to find a version of that to make at home. Charles had artichoke enchiladas and Simon had a baked potato. Holden got Simon's white bean soup that Simon wasn't especially fond of.

barton springs at night by brain wheeler

After supper, we went to Loring's "favorite place in Austin," the Barton Springs pool. What a perfect place to end the day. From 9 - 10 pm, admission is free. The pool is fed by underground springs and is about 71 degrees in the summer. Cold. But beautiful, especially at night. We walked to the shallow end to look for minnows, tried to keep the boys from splashing us, and met a four-year-old girl named Daisy who was eating the green plants in the pool because someone told her it was mermaid salad.

Then we took the nature trail up to the diving boards and plunged in. I got to make the jump once before the 10 o'clock whistle blew, signaling the pool was closing. Then Simon and I swam across the deepest part of the pool to the stairs on the opposite side.

Holden and Simon got to have chocolate cake with strawberries and whipped cream before bed. They both talked in their sleep, especially Simon (who yelled in his sleep much of the night, probably due to being to tired and excited). This was, of course, after the tickling and wrestling in bed before Charles and I had to curtail all that boy wildness.

day nine: longview to austin

2011-07-30T23:38:00.002-05:00

simon & charles, waffle house (longview, texas)

I told Simon and Charles that we'd have to eat at a Waffle House at least once while we were in the South. Thursday morning ended up being the time. I'm glad Nevin was with us; she was one I was often with when I'd eat at Waffle House in South Carolina or while traveling in the South.

Charles even tried the grits. Nevin said we'd have to eat the good kind: shrimp and grits, in New Orleans, next time we make the trip. It's easier to say good-bye to friends when you're planning on the next time before you leave.

roadside memorial, highway 79 (north of new baden, texas)

The drive from Longview to Austin seemed to take forever. We drove highway 79 almost the whole way. It was scary. A two-lane road with a speed limit of 70. No wonder there were 15 or more roadside memorials. We stopped to shoot them when we could. It was so hot and the traffic was so loud and fast that I worked quickly, not so much enjoying the process as doing it because it was what I do as an artist.

We also found one dead (perhaps wild) pig and two deer.

deer, highway 79 (northeast of easterly, texas)

deer, highway 79 (southwest of buffalo, texas)

Coming off that kind of driving into Austin traffic was not too much solace. Charles and I both agree on the pleasures of living in Menomonie when it comes to dealing with all those cars and pavement and stress.

As we came into Austin, Simon was telling us that he was getting "that jittery feeling," as he was preparing to meet his half-brother for the first time. Bouncy legs and everything. I think Holden was doing the same back at his house.

We got to Loring and Holden's about 6:00 pm. After a minute or two of not quite knowing what to do or say, Holden showed us his room and that's all it took. The two boys started playing basketball in Holden's room and from there on out, they were non-stop talk, tickle, swim, eat, play, etc. for almost two days straight.

Loring invited Charles and I to take the night off, to let Simon sleep over, so we took her up on the offer. Charles and I ate at Taj Palace, which was close to our hotel (chicken tikka for C. and shrimp tandoori for me).

Simon and Holden had cheese pizza, veggies, and watched Speed Racer. They got to sleep in the tent in the living room. Loring said they finally got to sleep at 12:17 am.

day eight: bastrop to longview

2011-07-30T23:13:00.002-05:00

railroad crossing, shelton road (bastrop, louisiana)

Falling behind on a blog can mean a good thing: that the days have been so full I've been too exhausted to post at the end of them. Tonight, we're in Richardson, Texas (the north end of Dallas), catching up on some rest and while Simon and Charles get to sleep, I'm adding some days to the blog.

Wednesday morning we went first to Shelton Road in Bastrop. The house where my mother grew up is no longer standing, and all we know of the address is "the end of Shelton Road." We drove from its south end to where it ends at some federal or state reserve on the north side of town.

My mom told lots of stories about walking and playing along the railroad tracks. I took the above photo at the intersection of the tracks, Shelton Road, and Shelton Cutoff Road. The produce stand was just northeast of the intersection.

produce stand (bastrop, louisiana)

There were a number of houses and buildings that looked like they could have been there or were similar to buildings that would have been there when my mom was growing up. She told stories of their house being up on blocks, how they stored potatoes under there for the winter, and how she didn't like to have to go under the house (where there were spiders and goat poop) to collect the potatoes.

Finding an exact location was not what I was interested in. What was important to me: getting an overall feel for the place, being in the town, in the hot summer, imagining her under the same sun. Another reason for stopping in Bastrop was to give Simon a chance to imagine Grammy being a kid and what it might have been like for her. Give him a taste of his Southern roots.

We stopped at a cemetery and Baptist Church along Shelton Road as well. Then we headed to find my grandparents' graves. We ended up at the wrong Pine Grove Cemetery on the first try; it was Pine Grove Cemetery "South." We found the correct one, located behind the Pine Grove Baptist Church.

There we found the graves of my grandfather, grandmother, aunt, and uncle.

henry l boykin, pine grove cemetery (bastrop, louisiana)

susie j boykin, pine grove cemetery (bastrop, louisiana)

It wasn't too long of a drive to Longview, Texas from Bastrop. Mostly interstate. We arrived in time for a nap before meeting my good friend Nevin, who drove up from New Orleans to meet us. It has been such a good trip, especially for reconnecting with friends I haven't seen in way too long.

Before Nevin arrived, Simon tried out the pool, but didn't last long due to the "humungous cockroaches at the bottom of the pool." We had to talk to him about the pros and cons of living in the North and South. The North gets winter; the South gets bugs.

simon & nevin, pho vietnamese restaurant (longview, texas)

Nevin teaches at a French immersion school in New Orleans and is a natural with kids. It was wonderful to watch her and Simon interact. It was good to see her in such a good place in life, too: a great job, good friends, and the same amount of humor and laughter that made me love her in the first place.

We ate at the Pho Vietnamese Restaurant and came back to the hotel for coffee and good conversation.

day seven: conway to bastrop

2011-07-27T01:05:00.001-05:00

take a prayer, leave a praer (pulaski county, arkansas)

Most mornings traveling start out with Simon and Charles going for hotel breakfast, then coming back to wake me up and make me coffee (I love those two!). This morning, after making me coffee, they went back to the coin shop in downtown Conway (remember, it opened at 9 am!).

They came back an hour or so later, disappointed. The "Coin & Pawn" shop wasn't open after all and the pawn shop next to it wasn't really serious about coins. I think Simon was actually giving that shop owner some information about coins.

Before leaving town, we stopped in the Goodwill across from the hotel. I found a State Quarters lunch box (no kidding) for $1.00 for Simon and six rolls of 35mm film (ShurFine label, expired in 2007) for $1.00 each for me.

We drove the back way to Little Rock, the road I used to take. It seemed more familiar than Mayflower itself did, which was nice. The liquor stores just past the Faulkner/Pulaski county line were still there (no surprise). And, right across from the liquor stores, what I never gave a second glance to 12 years ago, was a cemetery on a rocky, red-dirt hill. One of the men driving a beer truck told Charles there had been a tornado through the cemetery, which explained the downed trees and overall disarray.

We took Simon into downtown Little Rock to the Coin & Stamp Shop. It seemed like it was well run, even if way less organized than Roy's shop in Eau Claire. Simon decided on a penny folder, with earlier dates than the one he has, and a 1911(?) wheat penny. He looked at the Peace Dollars, but decided to wait on that acquisition.

old ice cream stand (wilmot, arkansas)

A little freeway from Little Rock to Pine Bluff, then back to the two-lane. Charles says the interstate is so "neutralizing," and I agree. Half a mile off it and places seem like they have a character, an actual space and time.

We stopped briefly in Monticello for gas and to get the cheese curds out of the cooler (my lunch). Charles said, "I bet we're the only people in Arkansas eating cheese curds right now."

A rain storm came through part of the area we were driving through, but we didn't catch much of it.

In Hamburg, we stopped at the Ashley County Museum, called the number on the door, and got a personal tour of the beautifully furnished mansion/large restored home built in 1911. Simon was particularly impressed with the two swords from WWII.

beech creek cemetery (ashley county, arkansas)

After that we decided to locate the Beech Creek Cemetery, where my great-grandparents are buried. We found the cemetery and the Beech Creek Baptist Church, the church in which my grandmother was baptised. According to my nephew Nick's research, as of 1961, the church was one of the oldest churches still in use in the South. We shot photos at both sites and even went into the church building.

The internet says there are not services held there any more, but there was evidence of people still being in the building (including wasp spray). Charles got stung by a wasp while we were there. We had all three doors open; it must have been 100 degrees or so in the church. We were dripping with sweat doing nothing but photographing.

beech creek baptist church (ashley county, arkansas)

It was a beautiful hour there, despite Simon's complaining about the heat.

From there, on to Bastrop. Evening already. We ate supper at China Star. None of the restaurants in Bastrop were showing good reviews, so we took our chances. We didn't give it very many stars. "Greasy, greasy, and greasy," Simon said. Sometimes the honesty of an Asperger's kid is refreshing.

More Ed Show in the hotel before bed. Total liberal indoctrination of our child.

william edgar brown & amanda "carrie" caroline stone brown
beech creek cemetery (ashley county, arkansas)

I'm up late due to my cold being the coughing stage. Hard to sleep. Tomorrow there are more graves we want to find: my grandfather, great-great grandparents, and possibly great-great-great grandparents (they died in Ashley County, Arkansas, but I can't find in which cemetery they're buried).

After supper we went to the local Walgreen's to buy some cough drops. When we got out of the car, all three of us had our cameras and walked out to the road before going into the store. When we checked out, the cashier asked, "What were y'all taking pictures of?" "The sunset," I said. We told her a little about what we were here for and what we were doing. "No one takes pictures of this town," she said.

day six: brownsville to conway

2011-07-25T22:22:00.004-05:00

brian k harris (roadside memorial, highway 64)

Today was mostly driving, first from Brownsville to Memphis. We drove to the address Google gave us for the All American Coin Company in Memphis, only to realize it was a business in someone's house and appointments were needed. Simon was disappointed, to say the least. He sure can get his heart set on a coin shop.

Simon was impressed by the Pyramid Arena as we drove by downtown Memphis, but we said no to his wish to stop.

jesus saves (opal, arkansas)

Most of what I found to photograph today was Bible-belt related: crosses (not just roadside memorial ones) and Jesus Saves signs. We also found a small, very run-down cemetery off Highway 64, McDonald Cemetery, near McDonald, Arkansas.

mcdonald cemetery (mcdonald, arkansas)

We stopped in Wynne for lunch at Ameca Mexican Restaurant. "Better than the Wendy's," was Charles' rating.

Getting close to Mayflower, where I lived for a year when I taught at the University of Central Arkansas, we were wowed by the big military planes overhead. Both the Camp Joseph T Robinson and Little Rock Air Force Base were nearby.

I looked at Google Maps last night, trying to locate the house I lived in on Highway 365 in Mayflower, thinking I'd photograph it when we got there. I had trouble finding it and had to agree with Charles when he wondered if it was even there any more.

captain's car wash (mayflower, arkansas)

He was right. When we got into town, what we found a new car wash in the place my old house used to be. I could have cried.

I'm not sure why I can mourn spaces the way I can mourn my loved ones, but there is something powerful about the physical presence of a building or space that you once inhabited, and when that is gone it does feel like a huge loss.

I hardly recognized Mayflower. It's been 12 years since I lived there, and in that time it has grown from a population of about 1,000 to over 2,000. It's got a Sonic and the lone grocery store is now a strip mall with a Dollar General and a Subway. There's a new Baptist Church. The trailer-house bank across the road from where my house used to be is now just an ATM.

About the only thing left to do at that point was find the Mayflower Cemetery, which we did, and I shot some Holgas there in light rain.

Then on to Conway where I gave Charles and Simon the driving tour of the university, showed them the building where I taught drawing and the building where my office was. We drove downtown and located the coin shop for the morning trip, discovering it opens at 9 am.

Conway has grown, too. Lots of new businesses and residential building.

simon, splashing (conway, arkansas)

We are staying at the same hotel where my brother stayed when he and his family came to visit back in 1999. Simon swam in the pool where I swam with my nephews, Adam and Austin (they would've been 6 at the time), and niece, Heidi (age 3 then). Crazy time warp.

Then I sweated with a Cathe workout (Kick, Punch, & Crunch) while Simon and Charles headed out for Quizno's supper. When they got back, we watched the Ed Show's recap and analysis of Obama's speech on the debt ceiling. When John Boehner's speech was being replayed, Simon said, "I wish I could kick the TV."

day five: clarksville to brownsville

2011-07-25T19:53:00.000-05:00

aidan, hope, & marlena by simon

Sunday morning I was awakened by the sound of two fourth-graders having a conversation. Simon and Marlena talking back and forth like little people. Not just Simon talking one-sided about coins or World War II. I was happily amazed.

I cannot say enough good things about our time with Jennifer and Barry and their family. Simon was so good there, with their kids. His Asperger's characteristics were downplayed with them, especially Marlena. It was so good to watch.

marlena by simon

aidan by simon

hope by simon

While Barry went out to get the wet ingredients for pancakes, Jennifer made french press coffee (oh, how I love that stuff) and we talked about her plans for a home water birth. She's expecting her fourth child any day. She liked Simon and my way of eating pancakes: use them to make a peanut butter sandwich with.

After a leisurely Sunday morning breakfast and coffee, the kids showed Simon and me their rooms. Marlena had made her own version of "keep out" signs, including scotch-tape caution tape and traffic cones along the bottom of the door. Hope and Aidan showed off their jumping-on-the-bed skills while I shot fisheye photos. "Why not add one more to the mix," I said to Jennifer in regard to her new child on the way.

I've seen her kids on facebook and flickr (Jennifer's photostream) for a few years. Seeing them in person was like watching Jennifer's photos come alive. Just like I expected them to be, but better. Hope won my heart.

barry, hope, aidan, and marlena at paris landing by simon

We all headed to Paris Landing for an afternoon of swimming, shell finding, and hanging out in the shade. The water was rougher there than it typically is in lakes, but it had lots of room for real swimming. I swam some with Simon and eventually got Hope to warm up to me enough to let me hold her so Jennifer could enjoy the water and float (I remember how good water felt when I was almost nine months pregnant).

Hope and I talked about shells, mermaid cups, raisins (wrinkly fingers), the yogurt raisins she and her mom like to eat, and her cute and crazy dog Mia.

Saying good-bye was emotional for me. It is hard to see a good friend only to have to leave.

After leaving Paris Landing, we went to check out Gray Cemetery nearby, a tiny cemetery where I nevertheless shot a few images.

roadside memorial, highway 79

There were a number of roadside memorials on the highway to Brownsville, and we stopped at Newhope Cemetery near Atwood, Tennessee. I also shot photos of train graffiti in Humboldt, with a rain storm coming. We ate supper in Humboldt at a Barbeque joint--going to have to get my photos developed before I remember its name. We ate while the thunderstorm made noise outside and met the owner's four-year-old daughter, Gabby.

tree, railroad track (bells, tennessee)

railroad track, cars (bells, tennessee)

The rain cooled things down a bit, for a while. I photographed a little more train graffiti in the good after-storm light in Bells. Then we made it to the Days Inn in Brownsville, and Simon and Charles got Dairy Queen for bedtime snack.

I was fighting a summer cold and feeling how colds get worse at night.

day four: metropolis to clarksville

2011-07-24T22:52:00.000-05:00

nickel cemetery

Last night (day four) was so much fun at Jennifer & Barry's house that I didn't post the day's events, so I'll do my best to remember tonight. Crazy how when traveling days can melt together and you can lose your sense of day/time/place.

charles (superman) & mom (superwoman) by simon

Saturday morning in Metropolis: first, leftover curry from Thai D for breakfast. Simon and I watched Confessions of a Superhero a while back and felt like we should at least go see the giant statue of Superman. We checked out the gift shop there, too. What a great load of kitch that was.

Then we stopped in the antique store on the way out of town for Simon to check out the coins.

The main road for Saturday driving was The Trace, a highway that runs down the middle of the Land Between the Lakes area. We saw the dam that creates Kentucky Lake and stopped for a few minutes at the Canal Overlook between Kentucky Lake and Barkley Lake, watched fast boats bounce on the water and wondered why size and speed is such an attraction for some.

gray cemetery/newby cemetery, land between the lakes

Along The Trace were many signs indicating cemeteries. We read there are over 200 in the Land Between the Lakes area. We took a few of the gravel roads leading to the cemeteries, but didn't find any further signs noting where or how far they might be, so decided to just keep on heading for Clarksville. When stopping at the visitor's center, we found a detailed map with the cemeteries marked and realized most of them were way off the main road, and even off the small side roads. To photograph them would mean hours and days, and hiking. Maybe another time, and another day when it's not 100 degrees.

We did find one beautiful cemetery before entering the LBL: Nickel Cemetery. Spent some time photographing there.

nannie by simon

The evening was spent seeing my good friends from grad school days in Columbia, South Carolina: Barry and Jennifer, and their three children: Marlena, Aidan, and Hope. I have been in touch with Jennifer over the past few years via facebook and flickr, but have not seen her in person for more years than I want to count! It was a wonderful visit. They took us to Dos Margaritos for supper, then Barry took Charles, Simon, and I to an amazing old cemetery in Clarksville so we could all photograph some before dark. Then Barry caught a few fireflies with Simon, showed us Austin Peay University (where he is an art professor), then got us home in time for popsicles before bed.

day three: springfield to metropolis

2011-07-22T23:50:00.000-05:00

federated car care (st peter, illinois)

I love eating chicken vindaloo leftovers for breakfast! Charles and Simon let me sleep in a little this morning while they experienced the Howard Johnson's continental breakfast. My two early risers.

Before we left Springfield this morning, we took a quick tour of the Illinois State Capitol. Simon was enthralled by the elaborateness of the architecture, carvings, statues, etc. It is so much fun to watch a boy who gets excited by things. Even the plaque under one of the statues of a senator: he exclaimed, "Gold!"

"Brass," said Charles.

simon, illinois house of representatives meeting room

Simon loved seeing the Senate and House chamber rooms and going up into the galleries. He took many photos on the iPhone.

The only other tourists we talked to were outside the House meeting room. "We're from Wisconsin," we told them, and they told us about their children in Wisconsin and their daughter-in-law who owns the Golden Leaf Cafe in Menomonie.

for sale

Heading toward our afternoon destination of Stephen A. Forbes State Park Recreation Area, we stopped several times for photos: our first (dead) deer, some trumpet vine blossoms, an RV for sale, and a yard sale at an old pumpkin patch where we found a book about the 2000 state quarters for Simon, for a quarter.

old produce stand

Simon got to try out Sonic for the first time for lunch. "Not as good as Culver's," was his rating, "but better than Burger King." He is making plans for he and Charles to visit Eau Claire sometime (a guy's day out) to have fries and a chocolate malt at Sonic, visit the coin shop, and go to Menard's.

rocky point beach

We made our way to the swimming area at Forbes State Park by about 3:30. I realized there that any time in the past I've said, "it was like swimming in bath water," I was exaggerating. This lake water was hot. As in sweating in the water. For the majority of the time there, Simon and I played a game where we jumped down to the bottom of the lake to lay flat and catch a little of the cooler current.

We took our longest stretch of interstate after that, stopping in Marion at Thai D for spicy red curry (more leftovers for breakfast!).

After supper, we listened to most of a NPR broadcast about ants.

roadside memorial, highway 50

courtyard coffee house, main street (salem, illinois)

News of the day included Obama's press conference on Boehner's quitting negotiations on the debt ceiling and the terroist attacks in Norway. And more on the heat wave.

When we arrived at our hotel tonight, we realized we were right next door to Pony's Strip Club. Simon asked what a strip club was. I explained. "Weird," he said.

We made it in time for 20 minutes of swimming at the hotel pool.

Tomorrow, it's Kentucky Lakes and Jennifer's house. I can't wait.

simon, in the pool

day two: dickeyville to springfield

2011-07-22T00:21:00.000-05:00

wisconsin into iowa, at dubuque

It felt strange to drive into Iowa at the northeast corner, about as far from home in Iowa as it is possible to get. We crossed the Mississippi River during a brief rain. One of Simon's projects for the trip is to take a picture of every "Welcome To..." state sign as we cross into a new one. See above photo. "Take it! Take it! Take it!" he insisted, worried I would miss the sign as we drove under it.

We stopped in downtown Dubuque for a late breakfast at Dottie's Diner. Simon can pack in the hash browns, that's for sure.

I took a nap while we played Lucinda's new album, Blessed. Which meant I was not awake to take the crossing into Illinois photo. I was in trouble.

More heat today, and trying to decide which we wanted to see most: Lincoln's New Salem Historic Site or the Dickson Mounds Museum at Lewiston. We decided on the Dickson Mounds Museum, which presents much information on the Paleolithic Native Americans that lived in that region. Here's a great article on some of the issues that museum has had to deal with.

The museum is surrounded by the Emiquon National Wildlife Refuge, a beautiful area of wetlands.

the illinois river

bridge over the illinois

Once in Springfield, we stopped at Gateway to India, for some amazing chicken vindaloo, chicken green masala, and chicken curry. And papdum and naan, too. So good.

We were all happy to find our hotel to be of much higher standard than the Tower Motel in Dickeyville. Simon and I took an hour swim in the outdoor pool until after sunset. Before that, a few photos in the hotel room.

simon & charles, howard johnson's

goggle boy

Amazing what a clean, cool room after a lovely swim can do. Then a workout to try to counteract all that sitting while driving, and I slept as good as if I'd been at home.

day one: menomonie to dickeyville

2011-07-21T23:44:00.000-05:00

roadside memorial, highway 27

I'm already a day behind blogging our 15-day road trip to Austin, Texas and back, so let me catch up on day one. Menomonie to Dickeyville, Wisconsin.

I've got four film cameras along: my Holga 120CFN, Holga WPC, Lomo Fisheye2, and Lomo LC-A+ (my newest of the bunch, which I'm quickly falling in love with). But finding film developers on the road is not the easiest thing in the world, so I'm stockpiling the rolls in my camera bag and shooting just a few iPhone photos to add to the blog as I go.

And, yes, you heard me right. We are on a fifteen day road trip. In record heat. Good old summer vacation.

The main reason for our trip is to take Simon to meet his half-brother, Holden, who is just one year younger than Simon. The two have never met, and we think now is a good time to let that happen.

On the way, we're meeting friends, stopping in the town my mother grew up in, and seeing what we can see. Taking the back roads, driving about 250 - 300 miles a day, not rushing things.

roadside memorial, highway 61

flowers near the memorial, highway 61

We got out of Menomonie yesterday morning about 10:30, leaving our kitties in good hands with our next door neighbor Danielle and her two-year-old daughter Sophia.

Our first stop was Lake Wazee, right outside of Black River Falls. It is the deepest lake in Wisconsin, up (down?) to 355 deep in some areas. It is an artificial lake, formed when they stopped mining for iron there in the early 80s. While mining, they had to pump the water out, so when they stopped the operations, they simply let the water fill over the mine. It is popular with scuba divers because of the depth and the clear water. It was a perfect day for the lake. Over 95 degrees and a heat index over 100. But the water was as clear as we've been in in Wisconsin and cool, too. We watched little bluegill nibbling on Charles' back. Even sunbathing was not too hot with the breeze off the water.

Pretty much driving to Dickeyville after that, stopping for a few roadside memorials, listening to Wisconsin Public Radio on the recall elections, Simon quoting in harmony with the announcers every time one of them would say, "talk about issues that matter to you." And yet he listens with interest to the news about the recalls and the 150th anniversary of the Civil War.

mary, dickeyville grotto

Supper last night was at Shultzie's Supper Club in Dickeyville, which was surprisingly better than we thought it would be at first glance. There was nothing left of my salmon, Simon's chicken, and Charles' shrimp. Simon and I did give the "gross" looks to Charles for eating the pickled chicken gizzards. A second gross goes to the frog legs on the menu.

After supper, we spent some time at the Dickeyville Grotto. I shot parts of three rolls of film there.

fortitude, dickeyville grotto

Then we headed to our motel. The motel to make all others on our trip look like "Queen Victoria," as Simon put it. The Tower Motel. I won't go into all the nastiness, but I will say the fact that there was no toilet paper was the crowning moment of the night for me.

On our way out, coin-collector Simon noticed the motel had a "coin laundry." He, of course, assumed that meant a place where people washed their coins. We love traveling with our boy.

We were thrilled to get in the car this morning, with a quick stop at the Grotto gift shop (Simon found a buffalo nickel money clip and I found a Mary and Child statue). On to day two.

the wedding of joshua & kyle

2011-07-13T20:56:00.000-05:00

I have been working on scanning and editing the photos from Joshua and Kyle's wedding for the past three weeks. I sent them out the image files today, along with a link to their book. Time to share with the rest of the world that beautiful day of celebration:

The Wedding of Joshua & Kyle by Amy Fichter

where all my family died

2011-07-10T11:41:00.000-05:00

blessed with a dark turn of mind

2011-07-06T18:05:00.011-05:00

Dark Turn of Mind
by Gillian Welch

Take me and love me if you want me
Don't ever treat me unkind
'Cause I had that trouble already
And it left me with a dark turn of mind

Now I see the bones in the river
And I feel the wind through the pine
And I hear the shadows a-calling
To a girl with a dark turn of mind

But oh ain't the nighttime so lovely to see?
Don't all the nightbirds sing sweetly?
You'll never know how happy I'll be
When the sun's going down

And leave me if I'm feeling too lonely
Full as the fruit on the vine
You know some girls are bright as the morning
And some have a dark turn of mind

You know some girls are bright as the morning
And some girls are blessed with a dark turn of mind

I've been listening to Gillian Welch & David Rawling's new album, The Harrow & The Harvest, the past two days. I downloaded it--and now I find this: a letterpress CD cover. I love when other people use the old-fashioned stuff.

more at npr blogs

father & son

2011-07-02T17:26:00.001-05:00

simon & charles, adoption day by xenia elizabeth

Yesterday was a big day for us. My husband, Charles, adopted by son, Simon.

We celebrated by spending the afternoon at Lake Wissota State Park in Chippewa Falls. After swimming and photographing there for a few hours, we ate some amazing food at Jewel of India in Eau Claire, listened to the new Greg Brown recording, Freak Flag, stopped for some sparklers at the fireworks tent at the highway 12 exit, and drove home toward a beautiful, dark wall of rain clouds. Arrived home in time to get the cats in the house before the storm.

You can see more of my Lake Wissota shots here.

joshua & kyle

2011-06-29T21:31:00.000-05:00

kyle & joshua by xenia elizabeth

This past Saturday I had the privilege of photographing the wedding of my dear friends, Joshua and Kyle. I met Joshua as a student in my Life Drawing I class a number of years ago and by the end of that first semester, we were friends, not just professor and student. Joshua is one of the few people in the world with whom I connect deeply, without effort or artificiality. He is a treasure to me.

statue, fanny hill by xenia elizabeth

Charles, Simon, and I spent the day with Joshua, Kyle, and their families and friends at Fanny Hill in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. It was a gorgeous, perfectly overcast day, full of good people.

I had my Holga 120CFN (my new black one!), my Vivitar Ultra Wide and Slim, and my Fisheye2. Charles used his digital camera and Simon had a Polaroid disposable and the iPhone. I've posted here a few of the shots. There are about 1,000 total--lots of editing for me to do this week!

finding tadpoles, fanny hill by xenia elizabeth

kyle & joshua, after the ceremony by xenia elizabeth

All my love and best wishes to the two grooms. May you have a long and joyful life together.

kyle's grandparents, wedding dance by xenia elizabeth

discovering old film

2011-06-22T13:25:00.003-05:00

evening, red cedar state trail by xenia elizabeth

One of the projects I'm working on this summer is organizing my negatives, index prints, and CDs from the past 15 months of shooting film. I was not thinking when I started photographing with my Holga and various 35mm cameras that I would get this serious about it and end up with over 200 rolls of film scattered around my studio.

evening, red cedar state trail by xenia elizabeth

One of the joys of doing this (if there is such a thing as joy in organizing!), is the discovery of old negatives. This morning I found a roll of images I shot just over a year ago along the Red Cedar State Trail. The images are from a disposable camera, underexposed, about as lo-fi as you can get. I do love the darkness and grittiness in them.

As much as I need the long light of Wisconsin summers (happy solstice yesterday!), we have many cool, wet, gray days in summer and these images capture that well.

evening, red cedar state trail by xenia elizabeth

simon, at the end of third grade

2011-06-09T22:56:00.000-05:00

simon, early june by xenia elizabeth

simon, noname, & me by xenia elizabeth



In Knowledge of Young Boys

by Toi Derricotte
i knew you before you had a mother,
when you were newtlike, swimming,
a horrible brain in water.
i knew you when your connections
belonged only to yourself,
when you had no history
to hook on to,
barnacle,
when you had no sustenance of metal
when you had no boat to travel
when you stayed in the same
place, treading the question;
i knew you when you were all
eyes and a cocktail,
blank as the sky of a mind,
a root, neither ground nor placental;
not yet
red with the cut nor astonished
by pain, one terrible eye
open in the center of your head
to night, turning, and the stars
blinked like a cat. we swam
in the last trickle of champagne
before we knew breastmilk—we
shared the night of the closet,
the parasitic
closing on our thumbprint,
we were smudged in a yellow book.

son, we were oak without
mouth, uncut, we were
brave before memory.
(from poets.org)

shenandoah

2011-06-08T22:25:00.000-05:00

lewis cleaners by xenia elizabeth

When I was in Iowa over the Memorial Day weekend, Charles, Simon, and I took an evening walk in Shenandoah, where my dad lives. Though I attended school in Tabor and church in Randolph, Shenandoah is also a hometown to me.

It is only 12.5 miles to Shenandoah from the farm I grew up on and it is also the biggest town around (population: about 5,000). It is where we went with my mother at least weekly to buy groceries, shop for school clothes, go to the doctor, eat at the Pizza Hut, etc. My grandparents moved from the farm into Shenandoah when I was nine years old, so I spent much time there visiting them and my aunt Rosemary, who came to live with them just a few years later after retiring from her position as a librarian in Denver, Colorado.

roller skating by xenia elizabeth

When Simon was born--and I was a single mother with an infant to care for--I moved in with my parents for a few years and ended up working for the Chamber of Commerce in Shenandoah, thanks to Dan Offenburger, who was director of the Chamber at the time. Dan had worked as Athletic Director at Creighton University in Omaha, but he had grown up in Shenandoah, and returned to work in the community. When I interviewed for the position, he looked at me with a smile and said, "Shenandoah needs more people like you." He understood my overqualified status applying for an administrative assistant position, and knew I was likely to apply for teaching jobs again, but took me on. It was a favorite year, the year I worked with him.

Working with him at the Chamber I learned a few things: 1) administrators and CEOs are people, not nearly as scary as I thought they were [though that's something I'm still learning when it comes to administrators in the university setting!]; 2) how to be a professional without losing one's sense of humanity, humor, and self; and 3) how to appreciate big stories from seemingly small places.

I like the fact that I know Shenandoah from a child's perspective, trailing along with my mother, learning what groceries needed to be purchased, what errands needed running in an adult life, how to make small talk with acquaintances you run into. I am also grateful for the year I got to work there as an adult, and as an insider (and getting to eat 6:30 am Chamber meeting breakfasts at the Depot Deli once a month!). And, now, it is also the place I go when I go "home," to my dad's, where some of my mother's belongings get good use in his house, where he walks on the track, helps out at his church, and plays cards at the Senior Center.

li'l duffer by xenia elizabeth

It was a gorgeous night when we took our walk through town. I don't know why I only took one roll of film! I shot with my first roll of 800 film in my Holga 120N (Lomography Color Negative 800 film 120). What interested me most that evening were some of the old buildings and places I used to spend time in, or that had some nostalgic quality for me, such as the image of the torn down L'il Duffer Restaurant, which was all gone except for one trash bin and some floor tiles.

I want to go back and shoot more.

peonies in bloom

2011-06-05T19:01:00.001-05:00

peonies, memorial day by xenia elizabeth

The peonies were in full bloom in Iowa last week. I always associate the huge, fragrant flowers with my grandmother. She had several of them blooming in her yard near the water hydrant and they always exploded with life in late May. She would bring them into the house and fill the kitchen and dining room up with their smell.

I shot the above image of peonies at the cemetery in Randolph, Iowa--my hometown--near where my grandmother is buried.

I have been photographing in cemeteries a lot lately, especially this spring (you can my cemeteries set on flickr). Partly this started because Charles and I love to drive around the back roads of Dunn County, seeing what we can see, and there are many old rural cemeteries in the area. Even Simon enjoys studying the grave stones, as history (especially World War II) is one of his favorite subjects. He is interested in soldiers' memorials, in seeing who fought in which war, and wondering what their stories might be.

One of my favorite spots we found this spring was Sand Hill Cemetery, right above the Chippewa River. It's a tiny cemetery with many old stones, in a seemingly forgotten landscape. It is there that I photographed (Charles helped) my self lying in front of a headstone marked, "mother."

self-portrait, sand hill cemetery by xenia elizabeth

I love the simplicity of the old stones that name someone as mother, father, or infant. When it comes down to it, who else are we?

I photographed my mother's grave for the first time this past week, on Memorial Day. I miss her. I also know how much she stays with me: how she would be glad for the love and support Charles gives me, how she would want to know the details of Simon's latest obsessions, how she would be happy for my Dad in his new house in town, and how she would delight in her youngest grandchildren, Maria and Sawyer.

ayeleene by xenia elizabeth

it is summer

2011-06-01T21:15:00.000-05:00

mary, mount calvary cemetery by xenia elizabeth

I left you last fall with my Gakkenflex, and I'll return with it.

Charles, Simon, and I arrived home last night from a five-day trip to Iowa to visit my family and celebrate my dad's 80th birthday.

Monday, Memorial Day, we visited the cemetery in Randolph where Simon's ancestors back to his great-great-great grandfather and grandmother are buried.

We also stopped at the Mount Calvary Cemetery in Imogene to close the afternoon by shooting photos. It is there where I pulled out my Gakkenflex. The lens which lets me see what I'm shooting had come loose, but the camera still had half a roll of film in it, so I decided to shoot in true lomo style: just point and shoot. The above image, mary, mount calvary cemetery is one from that roll. There are a few others on my flickr photostream.

I would say today marks the first real day of summer, in the sense that 1) it is June, 2) it is warm, 3) I have finished with school for the academic year and can now concentrate on all things such as shooting photos, biking, working outside, and being in the sun.

I live for these days.

One good moment of the trip: Simon's excitement over finding scrap metal along the railroad tracks near my dad's house in Shenandoah. He asked Charles first thing last night when we got home around 9:30 if Charles would show him how to polish the iron in the morning before school. "After school," said Charles.

simon, railroad tracks by xenia elizabeth

Yesterday afternoon we stopped at Dolliver State Park near Fort Dodge for an hour or two to walk a trail and let Simon move rocks in the stream.

Dolliver State Park

Of course, there were the usual lovely things while in Iowa: playing with my niece and nephew Maria and Sawyer (Sawyer, who's almost three, finally opening up a little bit to playing with me and not just his own mother); re-acquainting myself with their dog Gypsy and cats Pirate, Pink Flower, and Mr. Blue; seeing all my brothers and sisters and their families; and hanging out at Grampy's house, trying to translate all of Simon's fast talking into words that he can hear.

We left Grampy Tuesday morning with gold finches, house finches, and what looked to be a male Indigo Bunting at the bird feeder in his back yard.

Male Indigo Bunting

fujifilm fujichrome 64T

2010-10-10T22:31:00.002-05:00

branches, power lines; by xenia elizabeth

I recently re-discovered a stash of Fuji 64T slide film in my office desk drawer that's been hiding, lying in wait for six or seven years. I used to use it to document my students' and my own art work, but soon after buying 20 plus rolls, I switched to a digital camera and forgot about it, or sometimes glanced at it, wondering what in the heck I should do with all that specialized slide film.

21st & boadway, at sunset; by xenia elizabeth

Then I remembered, I'm an analog photographer (again!) and I can just shoot with the stuff... who cares if it's 64T... I can get it cross-processed. Which is exactly what I did.

So far, I've shot a roll and a half, both with my Gakkenflex. The images here are from yesterday (a gloriously warm October Saturday). The film I shot today will have to wait until I finish the whole roll to be posted to one of flickr's 10.10.10 groups.

sunflowers, blue sky; by xenia elizabeth

I was amazed that the ISO 64 worked as well as it did, seeing as the Gakkenflex is flash-less. I wasn't sure what the cross-processing would do to the autumn colors, but I love what it did to the blue sky... turned it into a thick, bright ocean--feels like I'm looking up at those sunflowers from the depths of some tropical waters.

leaves, full of sun (out with the gakkenflex on an autumn afternoon)

2010-10-03T22:53:00.000-05:00

october landscape; by xenia elizabeth

It took me two and a half hours to put my new Gakkenflex camera together today. Of course, after all that work, I had go out and give it a trial run. Charles, Simon, and I went hiking at Hoffman Hills for a few beautiful hours this afternoon and all three of us shot some photos. Two of the first ones I posted on flickr were october landscape (above) and leaves, full of sun:

leaves, full of sun; by xenia elizabeth

sunshine and a boy with his book

2010-10-01T23:27:00.025-05:00

simon, by the garden; by xenia elizabeth

sunflowers, simon; by xenia elizabeth

I have been consumed with school these past few weeks... have I mentioned that?

Trying to find time to get out with a camera.

I shot these images of Simon last week--grabbed the Golden Half while there was sunshine and a boy with his book. Both diptychs were "in camera," that is I'm posting them as they really were on the negative strip, didn't cut and paste them after the fact. I don't know if that really matters, but it does feel like a happy coincidence when you get pairs of images that seem like they belong together.

simon, on the secrets of the immortal nicholas flamel

2010-09-19T22:03:00.003-05:00

This morning, Charles filmed Simon talking about the most recent book he's reading, The Sorceress (Book 3 in the series, The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel).

A picture into our world with a nine-year-old.

cover via Amazon

2010-09-07T12:26:00.006-05:00


landscape, county road x; by xenia elizabeth shot with my iPhone camera/edited in CameraBag

It's like deep meditation in which your personal boundaries open up and you no longer notice where you end and everything else begins.

One (of the many) things I love/appreciate about Charles is how he makes sure I have the time for long exercise, and he does this willingly, happily, with no complaining. And, he almost always has supper ready when I get home from a three- or four-hour ride (last night it was Mediterranean Roasted Broccoli and Tomatoes). Oh my goodness, I must have eaten 3/4 of the entire recipe!

One reason I appreciate this so much in him is that he knows how important the hours running and cycling are to me even though he does not need or want or get the kind of mood-lift/runner's high that I crave from the hours moving on the trail or on county roads.

I began the adventure of "running"--the pleasure of being out moving on my own--as I started the anathema of junior high track. I was never fast, but I could run farther than anyone on the team. In track, though, unless you're fast, it doesn't much matter.

I stayed on the track team to placate the coach, who was also my basketball coach, and to stay in shape for the volleyball and basketball seasons.

I ran--down the dirt road a mile and back--because it was beautiful to be part of the landscape, because it was quiet, because I was alone, because I felt so much better when I got back.

landscape, county road x; by xenia elizabeth
shot with QuadCamera for iPhone

It's good I discovered this dirt road ritual during my early teen years, because it was about that time that depression started sinking its teeth into me, though it went undiagnosed for 15 or more years: I wasn't depressed; I had things to be sad about.

Now, years after an official diagnosis (Major Depression & SAD [aren't I glad I live in Wisconsin?]), I still wonder about the reality of depression as an illness or defect vs. the reality of melancholia as an artist's temperament (in no way am I romanticizing this notion, just seriously curious).

Either way, meds have helped, though I do believe they are effective for a short time only and after that, one takes them in order to not withdrawal, rather than for receiving any anti-depressant benefits.

And, either way, in addition to the meds, and maybe even better than the meds, is exercise. For me, that means minimum an hour--and if it's only an hour, it better be a tough workout. Best scenario is two hours of running and three to four hours on a bike (I'd ride all day if I wouldn't miss Simon and Charles).

I NEED this stuff. It becomes much more difficult to find the time and energy to fit it into my schedule as school starts again, but I do what I can. It's one reason I love summer so much. I am happiest when I am outside and moving, breathing, thinking, sweating.

Photographing and drawing have similar effects on my mental well-being, but they don't sustain me on their own.

county road x; by xenia elizabeth
shot with my iPhone camera; edited in Plastic Bullet

Following are quotes from "Running For My Life: Since Childhood, I'd Struggled With Crippling Depression. When Drugs and Therapy Failed to Help, I Took Other Steps," an article by Daniele Seiss in The Washington Post. I echo many of her sentiments.

"One day, particularly agitated, I fled my house and began walking toward a nearby mountain. I walked for a long while that first day, discovering some old dirt tram roads that seemed to snake all over the mountain. When I got home I was excited about my discovery--and happy. My mother was curious about how far I'd walked, so we got in the car and tracked it. I had walked about 27 miles, and it did more for my emotional state than all the therapy and pills."

"But what started me back on the path to health, what I remember the most vividly, were long, quiet walks, then runs, often in the woods. I found it helped clear my thoughts and made me feel more in control. I still hadn't put together how dramatically it was affecting my brain chemistry."

"Now, if I am feeling down, I go for a run. I usually start feeling better almost as I head out the door -- in part, I believe, because I am taking charge and doing something. But by mile four, I can actually feel my thinking beginning to change, from negative to positive, as if four miles, or about 30 minutes, is some kind of threshold. On longer runs, by about mile 13 or 14, I start to feel a mild euphoria. If I run faster, I'll notice it earlier. If I'm doing an easier, slower run, it takes a bit longer.

"On really long runs, of 18 to 20 miles or more, the nature of my thoughts go beyond just positive to creative. I start having brainstorms, one after the other, and I begin to feel 'one with things,' for lack of a better way to describe it. It's like deep meditation in which your personal boundaries open up and you no longer notice where you end and everything else begins."

--Running for My Life, Daniele Seiss

flavors.me

2010-09-03T09:29:00.002-05:00

I re-vamped my flavors.me page. Give it a look:

wed, in the golden light

2010-08-26T21:29:00.000-05:00

wedding ceremony; by katie mccann

The big news of the week here at our house, if you haven't already heard, is that Charles and I got married. What a big sentence that is to write.

Our original thinking was to have a very small ceremony with just Charles, Simon, and me with our friend Michael officiating. As time drew closer, though, we realized we wanted to share the day with some of our closest friends and family.

Our neighbor Katie and her two boys Coltraine and Benett have been a huge part of our lives from the day they moved in next door. When the weather is anywhere close to decent, Simon and those boys are in each other's yards and houses like they belong in both of them--which, in a sense, they do. We asked Coltraine to play his harmonica during the ceremony while my dad walked me across the bridge to meet Charles. At seven, Coltraine is a musician. Go figure.

Our friend Kate was there, too. I met her on Simon's second birthday as I pushed Simon in a stroller, exploring the building where I would soon start my new teaching job. No one else was in the entire building; good thing her office was right across the hall from mine. When she found out that it was Simon's birthday, she handed him a ceramic dinosaur, hand-painted by one of her students. I couldn't have run into a better person that afternoon. Kate is a serious artist/ceramist with a sense of humor and boldness that I envy at times.

allyson, my dad, & me; by johnny allegro

My fraternal twin sister Allyson came, too, along with my Dad. At first, we were going to keep our guests local, but about a week before the wedding, I knew I wanted them here. One of the treats of the day was watching my cat NoName adopt my dad's lap so both of them could grab a nap as everyone else made hurried preparations.

We decided to have the ceremony on the bridge on the Red Cedar Trail, just north of Downsville. It provides a beautiful, open view of the river, where you can hear the water rushing. We also simply liked the idea of a bridge: that which creates/signifies a link, a connection, and a traveling from one point to another.

The sun came out from behind the clouds just as we were arriving in Downsville and remained so for the rest of the afternoon and evening. We were all bathed in golden light.

A few of our friends--that were either there with us or saw photos and talked to us later--commented on how the day so nicely exemplified the things Charles and I believe in: living simply, inhabiting the place we call home, loving the natural world, celebrating with a few we love deeply, creating a beautiful time.

our vows to simon; by johnny allegro

In addition to the vows we made to each other, we also made vows to Simon as we began this new official stage of our family.

I wanted so badly to take photographs of my own wedding, but Charles told me he wanted me that day, and wholly--not half getting married and half shooting photos. We handed out garage-sale disposable cameras to Kate and Katie and Johnny Allegro (a Menomonie High School grad and soon to be UW-Stout art student) shot with my Holga 120N, Polaroid Spectra 1200i, Kodak Colorburst 250, and my new Holga Wide Pinhole (we have yet to get those photos back from the lab).

The whole set of wedding day photos--as much as I have edited and uploaded-- can be found here.

Charles and I are both grateful for those who were able to share our day, and for the days we have in front of us.

county fair

2010-08-18T23:22:00.001-05:00

ferris wheel; by xenia elizabeth

sheep; by xenia elizabeth

saying good-bye to his pig; by xenia elizabeth

geese; by xenia elizabeth

a camera to carry (the vivitar ultra wide & slim; or, the superheadz yellow peace)

2010-08-15T20:24:00.000-05:00

yellow wildflowers; by xenia elizabeth

For the past two to three months, I've been cycling quite a lot. I've always been a runner--swearing off cycling as a second-best activity. However, this summer, trying to stay injury-free while training for a half-marathon, I decided to bike every other day to give my running muscles and bones time to recuperate.

Everything was going perfectly... until I injured something in the gluteus maximus/sacroiliac joint area. No one yet has been able to tell me exactly what the injury was, only that something was inflamed and it would heal: the advice was to take Naproxen and Flexeril, and ice it.

For the first three weeks after the injury, I couldn't walk or do any daily activities without pain. Strangely, biking felt wonderful.

So, no running for the past six weeks, but I am learning Dunn County, on bike, mile by mile.

I have not yet found a convenient way of carrying my Holga 120N with me on the bike. I usually take my Baby Holga (wear it around my neck and stick in down my cycling shirt to keep it from swinging around), but Wednesday I took my Superheadz Yellow Peace, which is a clone of the Vivitar Ultra Wide & Slim (I got the original version for $1 at a garage sale after buying the clone, so I've got both now--though the Yellow Peace is prettier).

flooded cornfield; by xenia elizabeth

We've had lots of rain this week, including a couple of three-inch showers in a row, which meant swollen creeks and rivers--and a detour from one of my planned routes. I went east and north of town--though south and west is my favorite (for the hills, the woods, and the views) and ended up not being able to come back south of interstate 94 until I got to Elk Mound, and only then by going the four to five mile loop through/around Elk Mound because highway 12 & I-94 travel a mile or two together and you can't bike on the interstate!!

I do enjoy shooting with the Yellow Peace/Ultra Wide & Slim. It's got a 22mm focal length and produces some nice vignetting. It worked especially well with the dramatic clouds (biking highway 12) and spatial relationships in wild carrot.

It was not the best choice for my favorite sight of the day, though--a shed covered with scriptural graffiti: love your neighbor as yourself. I need to go back to that yard with my Holga telephoto.

romans 13:19; by xenia elizabeth

I biked 45 miles today, delivering three rolls of black and white 120 film to Sharp Photo in Eau Claire. The ride was supposed to be 54 miles, but I was riding into a 20 mph headwind all the way back toward Menomonie and was going to be late for my 2:30 appointment, so Charles came to pick me up.

biking highway 12 west; by xenia elizabeth

It was my first day of serious biking against that much wind. The website Cycling Performance Tips says, "a 20-mph headwind would equal a 4% hill." No kidding!! No wonder my quads felt trashed!! I was so happy to see Charles driving toward me on County Road C.

wild carrot; by xenia elizabeth

Had the Baby Holga along today, but I only shot a couple of scenes, with the wind blowing like it was and me trying to make decent time. Those shots were of 1) horses, and 2) a roadside memorial. Glad I saw the memorial on the way back. It was a quiet one, no bright flower ornamentation. I didn't even notice it when I was riding east, on the first pass.

To see more ultra wide angle photos, see my Vivitar Ultra Wide & Slim set and Yellow Peace set on flickr.

"no matter how fast we travel"

2010-08-14T09:44:00.001-05:00

Ill Deer; by Amanda Park Taylor

"Letter From New York:
Conscience in the Principality of Progress"
by Jonny Diamond

in Science & Conscience
Issue 151, Winter 2004

"If only I could stop the speeding silver train, march everybody off, and make them look at the remains of the deer; make them examine the catastrophic results of indifference, of progress unheeded, and force them to understand that we cannot, no matter how fast we travel, escape the consequences of our (in)actions."

sweet baby holga, part two (our garden)

2010-08-13T18:44:00.000-05:00

hollyhocks; by xenia elizabeth

What a summer it's been for the garden. Since Charles came to live with Simon and me, he has taken on the role of vegetable gardener, while I remain the keeper of the flowers. I did grow some veggies when Simon and I lived by ourselves, but not near as many as we have now.

Just a few minutes ago, Charles carried in two zucchini, each at least two feet long and probably a foot around. Not kidding.

The pink hollyhocks bloomed for the first time this year. I sowed them from seed early last spring. I had poppies blooming in June, too, for the first time, after attempting for four or five summers to get some to take hold.

trees, beanstalk; by xenia elizabeth

I have always grown bush-type green beans. This year Charles planted pole beans. We got first-hand experience as to where the story "Jack & the Beanstalk" came from.

Charles started some blueberry plants this year, and we have LOTS of raspberries throughout the yard. Our neighbor and friend Katie's boys, Coltraine and Benett, are always willing to help us eat those up.

benett, eating raspberries; by xenia elizabeth

I like the Baby Holga for recording images of home. Its photos are not grand, do not have sharp details--but they do feel like dreamy, intimate pictures of a place I love.

sweet baby holga, part one (chippewa river)

2010-08-12T19:49:00.000-05:00

black dog splashing; by xenia elizabeth

I got four rolls of film back today that I shot with my Holga Micro 110 (Baby Holga). Several of the shots were taken at Riverview Park in Eau Claire, Wisconsin on a beautiful Sunday afternoon--in fact, they were shot on July 18, Simon's last day of being eight years old. Simon, Charles, and I had been out shooting Chippewa Falls and Cadott, Wisconsin for Mapping Main Street, and we figured Simon could use a dip in one of the nearby rivers or lakes.

We found Riverview Park on the north side of Eau Claire, along the Chippewa River. What a great swimming spot: shallow, no "seaweed," sandy bottom, and the water was clear (except for its orange color, but we could live with that).

chippewa river; by xenia elizabeth

I posted some images from my Holga Micro 110 already this summer (see here and here). I have been using it quite a lot. It's so easy to carry (it's tiny!) and nice to take into such places as the Chippewa River without worrying about dropping it in the water.

The images have a similar softness as the shot with my Holga 120N, though they don't have the same blurry distortion. There is no flash and the ASA of the Fuji film is 200, so you have to shoot with it outside. The viewfinder is just a little plastic rectangle that flips up from the body of the camera. It's pretty accurate when you are holding the camera at eye level and you're looking right out from the middle of the viewfinder. I'm used to holding my camera at odd angles, though, so with the Holga Micro 110, I can get photos back that look nothing like what I thought I was shooting. I am learning and trying to remember its limitations in that regard.

simon, back float; by xenia elizabeth

The photo of Simon floating on his back is one I think benefited from that not-quite-accurate viewfinder. When I capture an image like this, it makes me nostalgic for Simon's childhood before it's even over.

charles, july; by xenia elizabeth

The photo of Charles is one of the best portraits I've taken of him. There is something satisfying in portraying exactly the right gesture and facial expression that says of a person: this is how I see you.

For my whole set of Holga Micro 110 shots, click here. Lots of photos of Cadott, Chippewa Falls, Ridge Road Cemetery, and our garden will be added to the set soon.

red arrow

2010-08-11T22:39:00.000-05:00

It's getting late tonight... I have posts coming on 1) the holga wide angle lens, 2) my obsession with mary, and 3) more biking. After another 30-mile ride this afternoon (in 87+ degrees), making coconut green beans with Charles (onions making me cry), and posting photos to flickr--I'm wiped out.

So I'm offering one of my images from Mapping Main Street in Chippewa Falls. This one is subtle, perfect for a night after good, hard work and lots of sun.

For some history on the 32nd Infantry Brigade, click here.

32nd infantry brigade; by xenia elizabeth

[crack the sand*dollar]

2010-08-10T14:41:00.001-05:00

Prague
2010
by sara*teresa

[crack the sand*dollar] is a blog by sara*teresa, one of my flickr contacts. Her series of photographs, Prague 2010, are lovely, worth a good look.

august yellow

2010-08-09T23:53:00.000-05:00

august yellow; by xenia elizabeth

I went on a 30-mile (approximately) bike ride today, in heat that's hot for Wisconsin--100-degree heat index. But it was my day for a ride.

Actually a day past my day for a ride. I couldn't go yesterday, or decided not to, because I wanted to wait and get a replacement screw for my spd shoes (cycling shoes that have cleats screwed to the bottom that clip into the pedals, making pedaling way more efficient. They help get the hamstrings in on the action, not just the quads). After cycling with them for only a week, I'm hooked. However, after having one of the screws come loose on me this Saturday night, I know a couple of things: 1) use lock-tite to screw the screws back into the shoes, and 2) screw them in tight. If a screw comes loose, you can be stuck with your shoe/foot on the pedal without a way to get it off when you come to a stop.

I love my spd shoes and pedals! Got a new screw, and a replacement to bring along, and headed out.

tree, one-room schoolhouse, power lines; by xenia elizabeth

It was an introvert's paradise out there today. Stiller than still, quieter than quiet. So hot the animals didn't even want to move. Hot for me when I stopped to take photos, but as long as I was moving on the bike and not pushing it too fast, I got a nice breeze and felt comfortable, believe it or not.

Saw a dead juvenile weasel as I was climbing up the tallest hill. Photographed it, but only had a disposable camera. Those things do not do justice to small dead animals.

Stopped for water at the Lumber Barn, which is right near the intersection of County Road P and County Road PP. Filled up my bottles from their bathroom sink and told them I'd send Charles back on his own so he can shop to his heart's content for cheap wood.

horse barn, sunflowers; by xenia elizabeth

Met a couple of farmers along the way, when I was off the bike, photographing. One wondered what I was up to on a hot day such as this. I told him, "out for a bike ride and I have my water and a cell phone, so I'm okay." Told him that I had stopped to shoot photos, it was so beautiful there.

"Other folks tell me that," he said, "but I've lived here all my life. Guess it makes it hard for me to see."


cows, in the august heat; by xenia elizabeth

They are his cows I photographed in cows, in the august heat.

Summer is breathing out its last hot-blast breath. The landscape is turning yellow like sun.

holga telephoto

2010-08-08T22:27:00.000-05:00

summer sky; by xenia elizabeth
[holga telephoto lens]

The Holga Telephoto Lens and Holga Wide Angle Lens have been available for about a year now, but these two accessory lenses are new to my camera bag. Holgarific, Holgablog, and Four Corners Dark have done a great job reviewing and showing comparisons between the standard, telephoto, and wide angle lenses:

holgarific review
holgablog review
fourcorners dark review

This post is not a review so much as a sampling from my first trip out with the telephoto (wide angle shots will come next time). I attached it to my Holga during my trip to photograph the towns of Chippewa Falls and Cadott, Wisconsin for Mapping Main Street.

One of the strangest parts about shooting with both the telephoto and wide angle lenses is that the Holga viewfinder has no idea the lenses are there at all. In other words, what you see is not what you get (even more so than with a regular Holga). There is no knowing what is going to actually be in the final image, only estimating.

The other reviewers were not so keen on the telephoto:

Mathias, of Holgarific, says of the telephoto lens:

"The crazy vignette on the tele lens is almost too much for my taste. I do like a good vignette, but in this case it’s too round."

and Nic of Four Corners Dark, says:

"the Tele lens is still not a thriller..."

HolgaJen, at Holga Blog, writes:

"The tele lens does a good job of zooming in on the center, but you do lose a lot of the outside edges to vignetting and blur, so keep that in mind when you are shooting."

riverview park, chippewa river; by xenia elizabeth
[holga telephoto lens]

I have to admit I love my new telephoto lens and have a warmer regard for the images it helped me produce then Mathias and Nic had when they wrote their reviews. It's true there is a lot of vignetting, which is quite round, almost fish-eye-quality--which is bizarre, given that you're working with a telephoto lens. It was surprising to see my first roll of telephoto shots when I got them back from the lab.

The images have a kind of tunnel effect, but not simply like being pulled into the light at the end of it--in some of the photos it's as if you're pulled in and pushed out at the same time (see summer sky, above).

roadside memorial, highway 12 & county road e; by xenia elizabeth
[holga telephoto lens]

The instructions for the lens say you need to leave your regular Holga lens' distance set on infinity. This can be easy to remember in your head, harder to remember when you're handling your Holga and are intent on just shooting the subject in front of you. I'm not sure if it is because I did not heed these instructions with this shot (roadside memorial, highway 12 & county road e), but it could have definitely been the case. I like its craziness of focus/un-focus, but such play could read as mere distraction in other images.

I adore the darkness of the vignetting, the motion created by the zoominess of the lens, and the way the vignetting forces a focal point. The images are in many ways heavy--which is perfect for my more melancholy bent. I like how the vignetting lends weight to the more sky-bound photos, pulls them back to earth. An entire photostream of such heaviness would weigh even me down, though, so I will have to practice some restraint.

For more shots with the Holga Telephoto Lens see the set on my photostream here.

kate macdowell

2010-08-07T13:48:00.000-05:00

see more work here: kate macdowell

while waiting for my holga

2010-08-06T12:45:00.000-05:00

bike, highway 25; by xenia elizabeth

For those of you who follow my flickr photostream, you know I photograph dead deer. I love the form of their bodies, the way the splayed carcasses tell a particular story of life and death. I am fascinated by these beautiful creatures who are such a part of Wisconsin culture, where they are simultaneously revered and hunted.

no passing zone; by xenia elizabeth

Yesterday, I made a wrong turn while biking and decided to make up for lost time by heading north on highway 25. I wanted to get home in time to help make supper (fried green tomatoes, the only fried food I eat all year!). I rarely choose to ride on 25. Too much traffic, too fast. But it was a quick and straight shot home, and, I thought: I might see a deer.

Just a mile or less on the highway and I did pass one.

I always carry some kind of camera with me on the bike, but it's usually a small one, the Holga Micro-110 or a 35mm, something that will fit in my under-the-seat bag.

I had a Fuji QuickSnap disposable camera along, one that I found at Goodwill for 50% off (99¢), expire date of 03/98. Perfect.

fujifilm quicksnap; by xenia elizabeth

I shot the whole 24 (+3 free extra shots!) frames. It was ISO 400, but I was nervous that still may not have been enough light. The sun was getting lower in the sky, and the deer was in the shade of tall trees.

What I need right now is my Holga.

how to take pictures; by xenia elizabeth

At that point, I knew I was not going to make it home for 6:30 make-supper time and (did I say?), I wanted my Holga. I called Charles and asked if he would bring the van and the Holga. Yes, he said, but he and Simon had just gotten to the grocery store to pick up some cornmeal for the fried green tomatoes. It would be a wait. Okay, I said, and proceeded to find ways to look like I was just innocently hanging out on the side of a busy highway with my bike and a dead deer.

Charles, like always, came through. I finished up a roll of Shanghai GP3 100 Pan Film in the Holga and only one vehicle stopped to ask if we were okay.

Simon stayed in the van, occupied with The Andalite Chronicles book we scored earlier in the day at a garage sale. He was halfway through the 205 pages already.

p.s. I've been using the iPhone app Runmeter for my rides. It is awesome in many ways: tracks your route via GPS, speed, average speed, distance, time, estimated calories burned, etc. You can adjust settings for announcements to get any of that information spoken out loud at given intervals. I even purchased a RAM holder that secures my iPhone to the handlebars (works super, especially for iPhones in Otterbox cases!). I can even listen to the iPod while Runmeter runs, but the battery lasts longer if I don't.

Think my next purchase will be a battery extender and cable for Otterbox, so I don't have to worry about running out of power on longer rides.

runmeter map 08.05.10; by xenia elizabeth

I also purchased the MotionX-GPS HD 12.1 last night--for an iPhone GPS app that's turn-by-turn. I love Runmeter, but I often need more guidance on when to expect my next turn and which direction to go when I get there. Wisconsin roads are not as predictable as Iowa's (I grew up where roads were all squares... if you needed to turn east, you turned east. Here in Wisconsin, if you need to turn east, sometimes you have to turn west [which then curves back around east]).

Drawing on Anatomy

2010-08-05T20:23:00.000-05:00

Found a new, beautiful website: Drawing on Anatomy:

Supinated Hands Study, by Susan Dorothea White

the daily click

2010-08-04T09:43:00.000-05:00

My photo made the daily click on Shutter Sisters!!

backyard chicken; by xenia elizabeth

eat my fish

2010-08-03T22:07:00.004-05:00

eat my fish; by xenia elizabeth

Visiting the Eat My Fish Bullfrog Fish Farm is one of my favorite summer traditions--it is one of the warm-weather activities that helps make up for enduring long Wisconsin winters. The Bullfrog Fish Farm raises rainbow trout, then puts some of that trout in the fishing pond for customers to catch on their own. I learned early on--when my son Simon was three or four--that it was the best place to take a kid fishing, for a number of reasons.

aj, lawn chair; by xenia elizabeth

1) you don't need a fishing license
2) you can rent poles there
3) you can buy bait there
4) you fish from the edge of the pond--no scary, deep water; fast currents; or steep river banks to worry about (and you don't need a boat to get to the good spots)
5) you almost always catch something (and it doesn't even take all afternoon)
6) they clean the fish--and even cook it--for you, or send it home on ice

In addition to all these things that make it a perfect family fishing outing, I love the feel of the place. Laid back. No one would feel too strange, under-dressed, or out-of-place at Eat My Fish. The place and the people working there give off the vibe that all are welcome to be there and enjoy their time. The staff are helpful without being overbearing--coming around to check if you're catching anything, if you need ice in your bucket to keep your catch cold, etc. The guy who cleaned our fish--we caught four!--let us watch the whole process, describing it in detail, impressing the boys by showing how the trout hearts keep beating for several minutes after being removed from the fish's body. We even got to hold a fish eyeball!

charles & simon, fishing; by xenia elizabeth

They also sell their trout at several other local venues (including Menomonie Market), so even if you don't want to do the catching, you can still eat their fish!

Oh, almost forgot one of the best parts: playing catch with the Eat My Fish resident dog, Nellie--a border collie with one blue eye.

nellie, tennis ball; by xenia elizabeth

For even more photos from Eat My Fish, see the set on my photostream.

p.s. I shot all the photos from Eat My Fish with my "new" Fisher-Price Perfect Shot Camera. Thanks again, Charles!

filmtracks for iPhone

2010-07-30T21:38:00.003-05:00

I recently purchased filmtracks ($1.99), a relatively new app for the iPhone. I have to say part of the draw for me was that lovely illustration of a Holga on the app's home page.

It is a nifty little app for analog photographers. You can keep "track" of all your equipment--cameras, types of film, lenses, and filters. You can add as much or as little detail as you want in regard to ISO, film format, film size, etc. It's got a journal section where you can type notes and add photos from the camera or library.

The "Track My Film" area of the app is the most complex and time-consuming. Lots of detail can be included. I can't imagine myself spending all the time to track every single frame of a roll, but I'm sure there are photographers who can.

When you track your film, you first add a roll, give it a title, and even an iPhone photo if you'd like. From there, you can include individual frames for the roll. Info you can track here includes shutter speed, aperture, bracket, date, camera, lens, filter, location, zone system, and notes.

The zone system works like this: the app shows the image you shot or selected from your iPhone library. You can then add zones to the image by dragging the labeled (0 - X [Roman numerals]) dots to the areas that match the corresponding zones. filmtracks also gives you the choice of saving/viewing your image in black and white or color, which made actually applying the zone system quite helpful.

One of the nicest features of the "Track My Film" area is the ability to geotag your frame. You can log the frame's location with the current location button on the map or by manually adding an address to the frame.

I spent the better part of the late morning/early afternoon inputting most of my cameras, lenses, flash colors, and film information into this app. I'm usually not organized (understatement!). But, I often shoot several rolls of film before I send them off to get processed, and I can see this app coming in handy for keeping track of my frames, rolls, dates, locations, etc.--especially keeping track of the info I like to include with my photos on flickr.

charles loves me

2010-07-30T21:19:00.000-05:00

He looks out for me at garage sales. Look what he found for me on Wednesday afternoon:

fisher-price perfect shot camera (front view); by xenia elizabeth

fisher-price perfect shot camera (back view); by xenia elizabeth

It's a "real" toy camera, meaning it was made for kids to use and it takes real photos with 35mm film. It was made in 1999 out of big, colorful, chunky plastic. I had to do an internet search to see how to open the thing. Clue: the green key. Goes into the notch with the small blue button (the one on the underside of the camera, near the rewind button, which also works via green key) while at the same time, you push the bigger blue button. Charles said, "Just complicated enough that a kid can figure it out!" Thanks to Arty Smokes of flickr for the tip!

The camera has a dual viewfinder as you can tell from the back view photo. That's supposedly because kids have a hard time closing one eye and looking through a regular viewfinder. It feels like looking through those old View Master slide viewers we had as children (see art junk girl's favorite childhood toys here).

See another great article on Fisher-Price toy cameras here. You have to scroll down to the article, "A Trip Down Toy Camera Memory Lane."

The Perfect Shot came with a bonus: a Polaroid iZone 200 (in white and metallic blue). If I want film for it, I'll have to get it off eBay. You can even get sticker film!!

Not only does Charles love me, but so does my cat NoName. He decided to pose with my new cameras.

noname with my new cameras; by xenia elizabeth

artnatomy

2010-07-30T11:06:00.000-05:00

check out this site, artnatomy.net, that shows the skull, facial muscles, and facial expressions. you can adjust opacity of all the layers to get exactly the view you want. the expressions seem too exaggerated for my tastes, but it's a great place to start, and is especially helpful at showing which facial muscles are in use for particular expressions.

spaghetti for supper

2010-07-29T23:13:00.001-05:00

AJ and Simon went to the water park this afternoon. Then AJ got to come to our house for supper. Spaghetti usually means silly:

aj, spaghetti tusks; by xenia elizabeth

summer evening, simon & aj; by xenia elizabeth

today's ride

2010-07-29T21:21:00.001-05:00

38.33 miles total, with a 1063 ft ascent/descent. Took me 4 hours, 11 minutes--on a mountain bike, with stops for water, stops to check the map, and a few stops for photos. The map I'm including here is the generic route for the Gypsy Hill Run. My total mileage includes miles from/to home and substituting the last 5.5 miles with the Red Cedar Trail rather than taking the Rustic Road back into Menomonie from Irvington. I was ready for some flat terrain by that point.

Got some good sun on my back, too. The most beautiful part of the route was coming down the hill on 350th. And the water stop at the Red Cedar State Trail in Downsville was, like always, an oasis--even when carrying 50 - 60 oz. with me. Ridge Road Cemetery on County Road P is a beautiful spot. It deserves its own trip for taking photos. The route also takes you by or in view of the Lower Weston Cemetery (just north of the intersection of 290th Avenue and 290th Street--gotta love Wisconsin's way of rural street naming!!), Grandview Cemetery (just west of 390th Street at 330th Avenue).

<p>&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/ride/united-states/wi/-menomonie/858124034238239236"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Gypsy Hill Run&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br/&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/find-ride/united-states/wi/-menomonie"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Find more Bike Rides in Menomonie, Wisconsin&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;</p>

compfight.com

2010-07-29T09:33:00.000-05:00

looks like an interesting way to search images on flickr.

polly morgan

2010-07-28T22:58:00.000-05:00

from Hi-Fructose, the blog:

Taxidermist and sculptural still life artist Polly Morgan recently opened a new show, Psychopomps, at the London location of the renowned (and rather appropriately named) Haunch of Venison gallery. A psychopomp, one who leads a soul to its final destination in the afterlife, is a rather fitting title for the young artist as Morgan provides new life to unfortunate road kill and donated passed pets. Since first appearing on the gallery scene just a few years ago, Morgan's popularity has exploded, propelling her quickly to several of London's premier destinations for contemporary art (LAZ, White Cube, etc.), all for good reason. Check out the remaining pieces from her new body of work, here on Hi-Fructose.

crossbird x-pro

2010-07-28T21:05:00.002-05:00

fishing for tadpoles; by xenia elizabeth

My last post included photos shot with Fujichrome Astia 100F. Along with that batch of film, I also cross-processed some of the new Rollei Creative Edition Crossbird X-Pro--a film created specifically for cross-processing. I am in love with the stuff.

My dark, rainy day photos came out a little too dark (ASA 200, shooting with my Holga)--but I can live with that.

What I'm attracted to most in this film are the rich, dark greens and golds. Plus the way it can make a happy, sweet photo of my cat Pepper look even sweeter and a melancholy shot of a cemetery look even more morose/introspective.

st. joseph's cemetery; by xenia elizabeth

pepper, in the front yard; by xenia elizabeth

cross-processed

2010-07-26T17:52:00.002-05:00

landscape (m16 & old highway 2), by xenia elizabeth

A big thank you to *hbxx*, of Could it be Madness-this, for his It Came in the Mail shipment of Fujichrome Astia 100F 120. I have been shooting film (or coming back to film) since about March of this year (5 months, already?). That's when I got my first Holga--the white Holgawood Casablanco edition--it's usually got blue electrical tape all over it and a black flash with color filters, so it's quite the eclectic camera object.

landscape, new highway 2, by xenia elizabeth

*hbxx* sent me some slide film, so I decided to try cross-processing it. Now I'm hooked on another photographic process! I love what happened with the Astia and the cross-processing (that just means you have the slide film developed in chemistry meant for regular film).

I've started a collection on flickr of my cross-processed photos. I'm sure it will grow.

For now, three images I shot on my recent trip to southwest Iowa (home).

roadside memorial, old highway 2, by xenia elizabeth

boys, summer school

2010-07-26T17:05:00.000-05:00

Today was the beginning of the second week of the second session of summer school. Simon woke up with several excuses why he didn't feel good enough to go (excuses for not having to go to his class, "Run for Fun"). But when Charles and I picked him up, he was happy to report that he had placed 13th out of 20 for the run today.

Charles and I arrived a few minutes early for pick up. This is the scene we walked up upon: four boys carrying lunch, headed for the shade. The boys of summer: Benett, Coltraine, Simon, & AJ.

our house, sunday night

2010-07-25T23:13:00.001-05:00

charles, sunday night, by xenia elizabeth

Messing around with the Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince iPhone app.

In the app, there are four pictures that move, just like in the movie!

WANTED: "unknown death eater [a.k.a. simon]"

sunday afternoon

2010-07-25T21:17:00.003-05:00

My hip has been hurting since Tuesday, July 13th--I'm not sure why yet... maybe just SI [sacroiliac joint] issues, maybe a ligament strain, maybe even arthritis. The pain came on right after a good six-mile run. The previous day I mowed the yard for 4.5 hours with our reel mower (like this one ►

[image originally pictured on oregonlive.com]).

I have been quite anxious to figure out what is causing the pain, but even more anxious to get moving again. I didn't think I'd be able to sit on my bike, let alone ride it, but Charles suggested I give it a try, just to see (he can tell how badly I need some exercise-induced endorphins!). Four or five blocks around the neighborhood for a test drive and an hour or so later, the two of us were off to bike the Rustic Road loop.

See an interactive map here on mapmyride.com.

We took the hilly route from home so the ride came to 18.8 miles, about half of my longest ride this summer. According to Charles, the longest bike ride he's ever taken (He is not as much of an endorphin junkie as I am).

I feel sooooo much better than I have in the almost two weeks of no running or biking. Thanks to Charles and lots of uphill pedaling. And to Bryan for taking Simon for the afternoon to play with his son AJ.

I took one photo during the ride, along County Road Y coming north of Downsville.

sunday afternoon, county road Y, by xenia elizabeth

U.F.O. Days

2010-07-25T11:43:00.003-05:00

young people's science enyclopedia, by xenia elizabeth

Charles, Simon, Simon's friend AJ, and I went to Elmwood yesterday to explore their U.F.O. Days, held every year the last weekend of July.

Who knew we lived less than 20 miles from Wisconsin's UFO Capitol?

from ufoevidence.org:

Police Officer Has Repeat Sighting (April 22, 1976)

Yesterday was not quite as exciting as seeing a real U.F.O., but we scouted out some garage sales, found Quidditch Through the Ages and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Charles got a brand new saw for $15--tools always make him happy. And I got some photos--analog and digital.

examined life

2010-07-23T17:34:00.010-05:00

Charles and I watched the first half of Examined Life, a documentary that focuses on contemporary philosophers, puts them "in the street"--gets them talking non-stop while they are in transit--walking, moving through airports, waiting at "don't walk" signals. Plus, I like to listen to really smart people talk, try to get inside their intensity and eloquent language.

So far, I'm enjoying the ordinary but smart cinematography--like the shots that get the director's hands barely in the scene as she walks backwards interviewing Avital Ronell in Tompkins Square Park in the East Village.

See the New York Times review.

I wanted to add some of the excerpt of the Avital Ronell segment of the film. Here's a link to the section in the book Examined Life, from Google books. One of my favorite quote from the film so far:

“I’m very suspicious historically and intellectually of the promise of meaning. Meaning has often had very facistoid nonprogressivist edges, if not a problematic core. Very often the emergency supplies of meaning brought to a given incident, structure, or theme in one’s life are cover-ups, are ways of addressing the wound of nonmeaning. I think it’s very hard to keep things in the tensional structure of the openness, whether it’s ecstatic or not, of nonmeaning. This is very difficult, which is why there is then the quick grab for transcendental signifiers—for God, for nation, and for other master signifiers. The widespread craving for meaning has tended to be very misused and abused by certain types of, let’s say, power guzzlers or by more innocent, if needy, people toward dubious ends.”

—Avital Ronell

holgas in the mail

2010-07-21T21:53:00.003-05:00

grampy & simon, by xenia elizabeth

I received ten CDs in the mail today from Dwayne's Photo--my first time at sending out my 120 film rolls to some place besides Sharp Photo in Eau Claire. It took about 10 days to get the images back, but the quality of the processing and scans was fine.

Any day I receive Holga images back in the mail is a happy one, but today was especially so. I've been nursing a sore hip for the past week, which means I was dying for something interesting to do while feeling pent up for not running, biking, pulling weeds, trimming raspberries, etc.

The batch of photos included some cross-processed Fujifilm Fujichrome Astia 100F 120 that was sent by my flickr contact *hbxx* for the flickr group This Came In the Mail. A few of the ten rolls were Rollei Creative Edition Crossbird X-Pro. It is the first time I have ever had film cross-processed and I am loving the "this is not quite right but it's perfect" color cross-processing creates--plus it's all done in camera, not on photoshop or picnik.

I posted a few of the images today on my photostream. What I've got here on flesh & gravity are from the one or two rolls of the plain old (but good) standby, Fujicolor Pro 160S. I shot grampy & simon and malvern leader in Malvern, Iowa as part of the Mapping Main Street project.

from my description of the Malvern Leader photo on flickr:

The Malvern Leader (a local, weekly newspaper) was where I had my first "real" job--I believe the editor called me at the end of my sophomore year of high school needing someone who knew how to mix up some D-76. I ended up going over there to the little tiny darkroom in the basement and processing several rolls, probably even printing some photos. Between the Malvern Leader and the Tabor Beacon (owned by the same editor/publisher), I had summer jobs from that point through my senior year of college. This Malvern Leader building is now empty.

malvern leader, by xenia elizabeth

sara g.

2010-07-20T13:52:00.014-05:00

This morning I had the pleasure of spending time with my friend and former student, Sara G. She is one amazing draftswoman and character artist. Thought I would post a few of her drawings from last fall in Life Drawing II.

sara g, at the raw deal, by xenia elizabeth

That semester we spent a lot of time going over the skull and facial features and then finished up the semester with a more conceptual drawing in which the students had to employ their knowledge about skulls and facial features while exploring a more personal (rather than simply academic) subject matter. We also spent several days in class working on a long pose of the model situated in a complex spatial environment.

9

2010-07-19T23:03:00.013-05:00

number 9 [Dereham Station; Dereham, Norfolk, England, UK]
photograph by Leo Reynolds

Simon turned nine today.

"The last of the single-digit birthdays," said Charles.

four boys, by xenia elizabeth

Simon woke me up early so I could find the hidden first present of the day: a microscope. I got to drink my morning coffee while re-learning how to focus on specimen slides: a pink feather, a bee's leg, and a fly's wing.

Then, before the other festivities of the day, it was off to the first day of the second session of summer school. For Simon: Math, Running for Fun, and Wrestling. Of the last two, Simon said, "They make me so sweaty. I want to take a shower in the locker room!"

Three of Simon's good friends--AJ, Coltraine, and Benett--joined us for the rest of the day at the water park, Ted's Pizza, presents, and birthday brownies.

goals & accomplishments, by xenia elizabeth

Part of the birthday ritual at our house is writing out the past year's accomplishments and the next year's goals (see Simon's photos for this year's pages). He wrote them out in his own handwriting (last year I did it for him), good handwriting being one of his big accomplishments of this past year.

And, he got to talk to his Aunt Allyson and cousin Maria on the phone to tell them about his day.

Oh, my boy, I think. Oh, my growing boy.

"tubers, rhizomes, bones"

2010-07-18T23:24:00.002-05:00

When I First See the Dead Deer
by mary walker graham

When I first see the dead deer, I think

Hope and Remembrance.

It's not the cluster of pinks I'd wanted,

not the first sight of the first crocus,

but a bouquet nonetheless.

Touching the furred foreleg where it juts

from the broken ribcage, it's

How perfectly still the leg lies, and

What a strange arrangement—how like a stem

it is for the whorl of bones and hair,

just uncovered by the melting snow.

Later when I smell it on my hands,

I touched a man in love, and

What strange confessions the dead make.

Look how the blooms lie frozen still,

in the not-quite spring, in the shapes

of tubers, rhizomes, bones.

--poem by Mary Walker Graham at 42opus.com.

Two new photos from the beginning of my trip to Iowa earlier this month, shot with a Holga Micro-110 and Fujicolor Film, ASA 200, taken a few miles south of Durand, Wisconsin:

deer, south of durand, by xenia elizabeth

roadside flowers, near the deer, by xenia elizabeth

return

2010-07-17T20:52:00.008-05:00

back yard by xenia elizabeth

Last night I wrote to an old friend about my mom's death and dying process and ended up linking to this blog, to the posts tagged grammy.

Since becoming involved on facebook, flickr, and tumblr [& even twitter] (about a year and a half ago), blogging as actually writing and putting images and text together seemed superfluous. Last night, as I looked back at the posts I had written a few years ago, I thought otherwise. This afternoon, I re-vamped the template a little and am returning to flesh & gravity.

Tonight, I am posting three of my latest photos, all taken in Stanhope, Iowa for the Mapping Main Street project that I've been working on for almost a year. Simon had a week's break from summer school, so we used that time to make our annual summer trip to Iowa to visit my dad, sisters, brother, and nieces/nephews.

We have "mapped" most of the towns within a reasonable day's driving distance (round trip) here in Wisconsin (see the collection of photos here and the flickr group of all Mapping Main Street members here), but always enjoy taking a break from the driving and riding to explore another town.

We shot these on the 5th of July, most of the country still on holiday. It was hot, humid, and dark with clouds, even in the middle of the afternoon.

from the alley,
by xenia elizabeth

Like many of the places we've photographed for Mapping Main Street, or that others in the project have shot, Main Street in Stanhope is only partly typical: empty storefronts, a post office, a gas station.

The east end of Main Street ends in private property, a field (this summer, anyway) of soybeans.

bean field, by xenia elizabeth

These three images (there are a few more from Stanhope on my flickr photostream) represent quintessential summertime Iowa to me: small towns with old buildings getting smaller and older, individuals living there nevertheless taking care of their own small part of their community, and endless landscapes of corn and beans–in Iowa you measure the summer by the height and greenness of the crops in the field.

Charles, Simon, and I shot some more Mapping Main Street photos on our trip, in Glenwood and Malvern, two towns I spent a lot of time in growing up.

The other item to note is that I shot these images of Stanhope with my Holga Micro–a 110 camera that I like to wear like a necklace. The viewfinder is a bit of a hope-and-pray kind of deal. I stopped to take a photo of a water tower in central Iowa with the words "XENIA RURAL POET" on it and ended up with an image 99% sky and 1% top of water tower.

Hard to complain, though, when I get images as soft and subtle as these. I had the 110 film processed and scanned to CD by Swan Photo Labs. Turnaround time was one week.

sunshine time!

2010-03-31T20:52:00.010-05:00

*hbxx*, my flickr contact/facebook friend presented me with a "sunshine award" for my photostream on March 21 (which is already 10 days past!). I'm late on this... what's new, right?

*hbxx*'s photostream consists of amazing found photos and slides, like the image 3.10ND049b November 25, 1963 (shown here, below). His blog could it be madness-this? can be found here.

The award is a way to pass on to others five of your favorite blogs, and then they do the same for five of their favorites.

walking off the big apple
by my friend Teri Tynes, who describes her award-winning blog as "a literary, arts-minded, and sometimes totally fanciful strolling guide to New York. Explore this home page for many self-guided walks through New York neighborhoods, tips for getting around, the latest museum openings, or pick a themed walk inspired by literature, the arts, or architecture."

one of my favorite posts of Teri's is the one she wrote on Tim Burton at the MoMA on the importance/power of drawing.

isebrand.com
Scott Isebrand is a friend from undergrad (Northwestern College in Orange City, Iowa). He currently lives in New York City. He blogs about a lot of stuff--politics, gay and lesbian rights, science, literature, art. Here is Scott's recent e-mail to The White House's Office of Correspondence.

jennifer ford photography

Jennifer is one amazing woman! She has three (!) kids, a husband, a dog, maybe more pets? and she makes photographs, cooks, sews, and makes many people's lives better for being a part of them. We knew each other when we were both in school at the University of South Carolina in Columbia where she studied Ceramics and I studied Drawing. The link above is to her tumblr site. Her flickr photostream is here.

7treehouses
I only know Ashley through flickr and facebook--she "friended" me through Jennifer. She's a passionate analog photographer and does quirky, beautiful drawings, too. Her flickr photostream is here.

maxine payne

this is a website, not a blog, really. Maxine is an artist/photographer living in central Arkansas. I had the privilege of working with her as a colleague for a year. I am forever adoring her and her work. A smart, smart, beautiful woman who makes gorgeous and meaningful work. Posted here is one of her photographs of an historic Arkansas bridge.

wolf moon

2010-01-31T18:16:00.002-06:00

A wonderful surprise for me yesterday was discovering that the photo I took Friday evening, just as the moon was rising, was highlighted on flickr's blog (blog.flickr.net).

The post drew over 5,000 views to my photo and lots of flickr users looking and commenting on other photos in my stream.

I told Charles only another flickr geek would understand my excitement.

thanks, Zack Sheppard!

"scratch banality, find gold"

2010-01-30T10:42:00.000-06:00

from a blog post by regina hackett, another bouncing ball, an arts journal weblog:

Into every life advice falls. Few things are as unwelcome, except if it comes from an artist who wraps it in spin. Such messages can be comically explicit, fearsomely obscure or rooted so deeply in banality as to turn on the light inside a cliche. (Previous post expanding on the theme here.)

What follows is a small survey of artists whose visual exhortations and aphorisms deserve to be cited.

one of the examples she posts: Squeak Carnwath, Good Ideas, 2006, Intaglio print, ed. 24, 12 x 12 inches

new day, new year

2010-01-01T23:49:00.001-06:00

charles, simon, and i celebrated new year's day by playing monopoly, the clone wars version. it took simon only two hours (1 hour, 48 min, 30 seconds by the iPhone timer) to win, or rather, for charles and i to give in.

the game was after a good supper, and brownies & ice cream.

over supper we announced our resolutions:
simon: to "not just blurt out," and not be wild around emmet;
charles: to find a better job, and to write more;
me: to clean the aquarium more often, and do dishes three nights a week.

new year's eve/new year's day: two (relatively) quiet days spent with my loves.

Video of the Day: Dallas Clayton and His Awesome Book

2009-09-20T10:15:00.001-05:00

Video of the Day: Dallas Clayton and His Awesome Book

Posted using ShareThis

flesh & gravity

a new baby, a new school year, a pink trailer

day fifteen: shenandoah to menomonie

day fourteen: shenandoah

day thirteen: parsons to shenandoah

day twelve: richardson to parsons

day eleven: austin to richardson

day ten: austin

day nine: longview to austin

day eight: bastrop to longview

day seven: conway to bastrop

day six: brownsville to conway

day five: clarksville to brownsville

day four: metropolis to clarksville

day three: springfield to metropolis

day two: dickeyville to springfield

day one: menomonie to dickeyville

the wedding of joshua & kyle

where all my family died

blessed with a dark turn of mind

father & son

joshua & kyle

discovering old film

simon, at the end of third grade

shenandoah

peonies in bloom

it is summer

fujifilm fujichrome 64T

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boys, summer school

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U.F.O. Days

examined life

holgas in the mail

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9

"tubers, rhizomes, bones"

return

sunshine time!

wolf moon

"scratch banality, find gold"

new day, new year

Video of the Day: Dallas Clayton and His Awesome Book